It is never to early to start dreaming about the ideal plot for our favorite shows, come September and beyond. Since the minute my shows ended, I was already thinking about what the writers could do to make their next season better, and what the writers could do to try and save the mockery of television they had somehow created. Here are my thoughts on what will make great shows phenomenal, and turn those “I’ll catch them if I can” shows into can’t-miss hits!
“Sunday Bloody Sunday” (U2)
Desperate Housewives – Give someone else a romantic interest, someone besides Teri Hatcher’s Susan. Let Mike die, let Mike live, who really cares, since he was HARDLY in season 2, yet he was prepared to marry Susan….PS Susan Meyer is like the Lana Lang of Wisteria Lane. What is so attractive about the dimwitted brunettes that have nothing really positive to offer everyone that comes in their path?? Finally, let the major story please be about Lynette and Tom because they really are delightful to watch on screen!
Without a Trace – Keep doing what they’re doing, and I’ll be happy. I’m at the point where the mysteries sustain me, but the relationships give me that added something special that makes me swoon at the thought of Danny making googly eyes at Elena. To be honest, I thought I’d hate Rosalyn Sanchez on this show, but I watch it now, thinking “What was it like before she was a part of it?” She’s a good fit, and she’ll continue to grow as they go on!
Cold Case – Let Lily brush her hair. The End.
“Just Another Manic Monday” (The Bangles)
How I Met Your Mother – First things first, Lily and Marshall cannot be apart. They are funnier together, and while I think that both Alyson Hannigan and Jason Segal are great with dramatic roles, they are the funny engaged couple that we all know and love, and without that it doesn’t work. Also? More Barbin (Barney/Robin) screen time, less Tedbin (Ted/Robin – and might I mention that their name combo just doesn’t work?). We know that ultimately they don’t end up together, so why try to make us root for them? And finally, don’t let us know who the mother is. Though I don’t know if many readers will agree with that, part of the allure of the show is that we have no idea who Ted meets. I enjoy watching him try to make his life work, try to find his happiness. If we know who the mother is, we spend each episode saying, “Oh is that her? Oh is this the one?” Ignorance is comedy bliss – keep us in the dark. If the show keeps on track, and doesn’t try to become something it ultimately isn’t, it will continue to thrive.
Prison Break – In “William Fichtner is my hero” news, everyone’s favorite creepy sheriff Underlay joins the already stellar cast as the federal agent tracking down our wonder-boys! If that’s not a huge ingredient in the recipe for success of an implausible second season, I don’t know what is. Also, if Tbag dies, which it seems like he might because, well, he lost a hand, I will be sad. He’s creepy, and scary, but he’s my favorite character! If he’s really left for dead in the woods, I will have some choice words. That being said, if Sara dies, I’m a bit “eh” about the whole thing. Yes, they built this Sara/Michael ’ship*, but I could take it or leave it. Give them more screen time, however that can happen, as he’s on the run, and she’s overdosed on morphine, but maybe I’ll invest more time if I have more time to watch their relay* grow! * ‘ship / relay – relationship
What About Brian – Brian needs to find someone new. I love Sarah Lancaster. I loved her as Gift Shop girl on Scrubs, I loved her as Madison on Everwood, I love her. But I don’t love her with Matt Camden, er, Barry Watson. They kicked Brian’s Italian brother-in-law to the curb, and they’re making strides at changing the story telling pace, so we’ll see how the story unfolds in September!
“Goodbye Ruby Tuesday” (The Rolling Stones)
Gilmore Girls – I’m not even sure where to begin. I’d like to see Lane and Zach as old marrieds, I’d like to see Paris and Doyle more often, and all the time if possible. I’d like to see Emily and Richard have lunch with Paris and Doyle, or Sookie and Jackson, or anyone if that means they‘ll get some screen time. I’d like Anna Nardini and her little elf April to hit the road. I’d like Logan to wise up, treat Rory better. That having been said, I’d like Rory to be single for the first time in her life, I’d like her to stop talking to Logan in baby talk, I’d like her to run off and marry Jess Mariano, and I’d like her to stop wearing dresses that make her look pregnant. And finally? I’d like Scott Patterson and Lauren Graham to just GET OVER IT and let the writers write for Luke and Lorelai to have a happy ending. That doesn’t mean I want Christopher to disappear! I love David Sutcliffe, and I want him to be happy, with someone OTHER than Lorelai, and I want him to be the dad that Rory always needed. I want a lot. I hope something from my ridiculous list happens. Or I’ll hang my head in sadness as I have nothing to watch on Tuesdays at 8.
Veronica Mars – Though it’d be hard to improve on a good thing, next year, there are just a few things that I think would make the show even better. Logan and Veronica should not break up. Yes, I know it makes for “boring” TV if the romantic couple stays together, because fights and break ups are so much more “interesting” to viewers, but come on. They are good together, I like them together, so let’s make me happy. I’d like to see more Daddy Mars time, more time onscreen for Wallace, more Wallace/Logan scenes, more Weevil time, more Sheriff Lamb (shirtless if possible), more Mac, more Dick Casablancas, and more of anything he ever has to say, and of course, more Mac and Dick Casablancas scenes, because they are awesome! Also, please pretty please bring Michael Cera back as a series regular, and let him, and his oddly-coifed Dean the tour guide become Veronica and Wallace’s new best friend!
House – I don’t think it needs improving. I just wanted to include it because I love this show! Ha!
Law and Order: SVU – Do not keep Benson and Stabler apart. Enough of these tandem episodes where they don’t fight crime together. Enough, I say! Oh, and is one little kiss between them going to hurt? NO!
“Now it’s Wednesday again” (The Selfies)
Bones – I hear that they’re adding a character. I’m not sure I like that idea, as they already don’t give enough screen time to Zach and Hodgins, but I’ll hold my opinion until I see it. That said, I don’t know that there’s a lot to change for this one – I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again, Bones is just great. I love it to death, and David Boreanaz and Emily Deschanel are just great together – I want them to realize it, but their adorable cat-and-mouse (not to mention that of Angela and Hodgins) is just as entertaining!
One Tree Hill – If Brooke and Lucas stay together, I will personally send Sophia Bush roses, candy, money, you name it, for being able to be professional enough to deal with CMM and his crap. That said, put Brooke with Mouth, Lucas with Peyton, Haley and Nathan must stay together, Dan should die of guilt or something, and Karen should run off with some attractive younger man. Ultimately? The only way to make this show any better would be to end it.
Lost – I love Lost. With almost every fiber of my being, I love this show. I buy in to all of the crazy theories, and I spend hours a day during the TV season trying to figure out what happened to cause all of this. That said, Lost needs to get back on track. It needs to be about the core members of the cast, and stop getting so into itself that it forgets that it started as an inherently character-driven show, and has veered way off course into a conspiracy-theorist’s dream, as the show’s mythology took over. Bring back the flashback as a storytelling tool, let us see Sayid more, and I’ll be happy!
“Thursday never looking back” (The Cure)
My Name is Earl – More Jamie Pressly. She’s hilarious.
The Office – JAM. JAM. JAM. If Jim and Pam do not embark on a relay, I will cry. Let Steve Carrell write some more episodes, let Dwight and Angela continue their little game, and by all means, please let the Toby and Michael hatred continue!!
Supernatural – More Shirtless!Jensen and Shirtless!Jared. Thank you.
Smallville – I’d like for Lana to take a vow of celibacy and retreat into a corner of her room, only coming out when the shows finally wraps for good. Since that won’t happen, the best I can hope for is that Clark and Lana never get back together, ever, and that Clark realizes for once and for good that Chloe is the one.
The O.C. – Hm…well, last summer at this time, were I writing this column, I’d say that I’d like for Marissa to die a tragic death and rid us all of her idiocy. Cut to me, June 2006, SO incredibly bothered by the fact that Coop had really begun to grow on me, and I’m worried that the show faces incredible ruin with Drunk!Marissa gone! Keep Seth and Summer together, give Taylor Townsend 10-15 monologues PER episode, make Kaitlin Cooper mute, and let Julie, Kirsten, Dr. Roberts, and Sandy get drunk around the pool and let out a good cry at the status of the show around them. If anyone can save the show, I know that it’s creator Josh Schwartz, who is coming back to support this show that is falling apart. Come on Josh, save it for us, please!
Grey’s Anatomy – Meredith, please stay celibate and let alone all of our McDreamys and McSteamys and McVets. Cristina and Burke – work it out, stay together, for the love of all things wonderful, DO NOT break up. Let Miranda Bailey and Addison Shepherd have more interaction, like the episode where Addie got poison oak. While I’d love for the return of McSteamy (Eric Dane as the nefarious Mark) to bring Addie away from McDreamy, I’d love even more if Addison and Alex fell head over heels in love with each other while screaming their lungs out in hatred. Mark my words – it’s SO where they’re heading. Lastly, let Izzie date outside of the hospital again, and let Callie wear something flattering.
“Dancing on a Friday night” (The Darkness)
Las Vegas – Keep doing your campy Vegas thing. It works, you’re all smoking hot, cheers!
Crossing Jordan – Best thing this show did was let Woody realize that Jordan is not good for him right now. Keep it that way. Give us more Nigel screen time and we’ll be the best of friends.
Ghost Whisperer – Hmm…how’s it going to work with Aisha Tyler being gone? Now I hear that David Conrad is leaving, too. This show needs to drop its lead, ha, and it will soar!
Close to Home – I hate that this creative, smartly written, well-acted show feels the need to change themselves around. I kind of want them to try it, realize they’re becoming a typical procedural, and go BACK to the old way! As an aside, I hope Christian Kane gets another job, and lives forever in TV history!
“Saturday’s Night’s Alright” (Elton John)
Saturday…..my TV is lonely on Saturday nights.
And…for those of you wondering, I saved the worst for last.
The only thing that will save 7th Heaven? If Glen Oak fell into a black hole, and took the Cam-dense clan with them.
My favorite TV moment of the last week:
On Rescue Me, when Probie put his head on his partner’s shoulder and smiled because he felt safe, I swooned.
Good TV + Good Music = An Obsession
The Office + Dolly Parton’s “Islands in the Stream” = The best Karaoke EVER.
Michael crashes Jim’s party in “Email Surveillance” and finds himself singing all by himself. Jim, being the hero that he is, sings the “girl” part so Michael doesn’t seem quite so alone. This week, it’s more about the actor John Krasinski (with whom you all know I’m obsessed!) rather than an obsession with Dolly Parton, but she’s pretty hip too, so check her out. Who else can sport skin tight sequin jump suits over the age of 60?
What do you want to see this coming season? What shows are you so excited for? What was your favorite moment of TV this week? Are you loving John Krasinski as much as I do? Drop me a line at firstname.lastname@example.org!