It’s been said that I, like many of us, am a TV addict. I watch 50 shows a week. I write a column on a weekly basis that spreads my love and adoration of all things television. I align myself with fellow ‘shippers and obsess over the relationships we see on the small screen.
If you’re wondering if you, too, are a TV addict, read through this list of my tell-tale signs that I am suffering from the greatest addiction that ever was. If you have experienced any of these points, you’ve come to the right website!
1. The TV schedule is my weekly agenda. I plan my week around the shows I need to watch. I have a color-coded TV chart. Not only is it a color-coded chart, but it includes ratings of all shows (on a 5 point scale). The chart also has at least two of the main cast members from each show, so in case new viewers of the show visit my house when watching. They’ll be able to reference who is in the show and enjoy some of their favorite actors. I update the chart on a weekly basis, in case times change.
2. I change my language to the language I hear on TV. Frak? It’s my new word. I use it in normal conversation, like it was another throwaway curse word, and my grandmother would be so proud. She always says that people who curse sound dumb, so rather than sound dumb with my typical four letter words, I pull out “frak” and she laughs at me for hours. I speak as fast as a Gilmore Girl, and I constantly throw in pop culture references whenever the opportunity arises.
3. I am willing to spend absurd amounts of money to reflect my love for TV. In a story related to my adaptation of Frak as a part of my vocabulary, I recently almost dropped too much money for a cheap bathroom mirror at Ikea because it’s called a “Frack”.
4. I keep my cell phone on vibrate from 8PM to 11:30PM daily. I never return phone calls, because I never know that people have called me, because I avoid contact with the outside world when I’m watching television. I become a complete and utter shut-in, devoid of social capabilities, because I’m watching good TV.
5. I get sick to my stomach when storylines don’t go the way that I want them to. At the end of Alias Season 2, when Syd asked Vaughn why he was wearing a ring, and he said “You’ve been missing almost 2 years”, my stomach hurt. When Lorelai woke up in Christopher’s bed at the end of Season 6, I got sick to my stomach. I get set in my ways and convince myself that the storylines should go my way, and then I get upset with the writers and characters when they don’t.
6. Corinne and I have planned an elaborate heist from our work server room, so that we can get a projector to watch Lost on our dining room wall. We have a computer guy, a “muscle” guy, a person to provide a distraction, and a great plan to return the projector before anyone knows it’s missing.
Does my obsession with TV make me sound a little bit crazy? I feel a little bit crazy, not going to lie. But I’m an addict, and admitting it is the first step!
What are your other tell-tale signs? How did you first know you were a TV addict?
In Other News
Battlestar Galactica was amazing this past week. It was thrilling, down to the bone chilling final moments where Adama was celebrated and Tigh walked a sad walk away from the celebration. I love Kara and Anders. Even though I love Kara and Lee. I love Dualla and Lee, even though I love Kara and Lee. When we found out that Kacey wasn’t Kara’s actual child? My heart broke for her. When Chief made it through alive, and with Cally? So happy. Gaius Baltar is crazy, and I was so happy when Felix Gaeta made it through? I fell in love with the show all
I’m falling more and more in love with Patrick and Jack from Men in Trees. It is such a charming little Friday night show. So worth the hour I invest in Elmo, Alaska.
Degrassi: The Next Generation is still a guilty pleasure. JT is my favorite character, so I was very glad that they had some screen time dedicated to him and Tobes this past week.
Say what you will about Veronica Mars being “dumbed” down to make it easier to follow, I’m still loving the show, and the characters. I didn’t want to like Piz, I really didn’t, but Chris Lowell is so thrillingly adorable. I just cheer for him when he’s onscreen. I, too, noticed that Weevil put on 30 lbs in the big house, but I still love him. I missed Wallace this week. And Mac. With the recent full season orders for The Game and 7th Heaven, here’s hoping the Veronica Mars is given the go ahead, too, and we can love this cast until May!
I’m finally all caught up on Jericho, Friday Night Lights and Shark. I absolutely love all of the shows, and I’m so excited for more episodes!
Keep watching Studio 60. Don’t let it get cancelled!
That’s it for this week – let me know what you’re watching these days – firstname.lastname@example.org