Channel Surfing with C.T.

Anybody else wildly disappointed by the always-anticipated makeover episode of AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL? The only girl who even teared up a little bit about her new look was Bianca — who traded her purple weave for a nearly-shaved head — and she actually looked fierce! When Mr. Jay said that Victoria over-analyzed every pose, it was obvious why she had to go: Smart girls can’t model! See, some stereotypes actually are true!

I’ve decided to save a whole heck of a lot of time where THE BACHELOR is concerned by fast-forwarding through the show to only watch the overheated “coming up!” segments they do before each commercial break. I mean, if it’s worth seeing, it’s obviously going to be included, right? Then again, it is kinda fun to watch the more ridiculous moments, like Hillary telling the camera that she wants to be the first girl to get a kiss from Brad so she can rub it in the face of her rivals… completely unaware that Jenni napped that honor last week. But the best moment was when Mccarten explained her philosophy: “I’m I’m myself, whether it’s with me and you or whether it’s me by myself, at least I know I was myself, and at least I know that that’s what you saw was me.” Making it super-duper funny was the fact that she made this speech to Bachelor Brad’s twin brother, Chad… who isn’t so much a double as a kinda-looks-like-but-hotter version of the man of the hour. Most of the girls seemed not to notice the switch, but it was DeAnna who summed the situation up best (and blew about a billion soap opera plots out of the water) by saying, “I think when you’re dating someone and their twin brother walks in, you should notice that you’re not sitting next to the person that you think you have a great connection with!”

Only two episodes remain in the first season of DAMAGES, and as much as I’d love to tell everyone who’s not watching that they should make sure to tune in, I’m not going to. Why? Because this show is too damn good to try and jump into midstream. When this show hits DVD, run, don’t walk, to the nearest outlet selling it and get yourself a copy. This has proven to be, hands down, the best show of this or any recent television season. Of course, I could be speaking prematurely, because the past episode or two have led me to believe that one of the big plots is about to go in a direction I don’t love. I won’t say anything more, because I’d love nothing more than for people who watch this in reruns or buy the DVD to go in as blind as I did. I refuse to even watch scenes for next week, because I enjoy letting even the beautifully executed little moments catch me off guard.

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES may be having its best season yet as far as I’m concerned. I absolutely love the rivalry between Bree and new neighbor Katherine. Knowing that Dana Delaney was the actress originally approached to play the character of Bree makes it that much more entertaining. And how gorgeous is Lyndsy Fonseca (ex-Colleen, THE YOUNG & THE RESTLESS) as Katherine’s daughter? There’s not a dull plot on the show right now, although I’m both excited and worried about an upcoming development. Excited, because Tuc Watkins is joining the cast, and he’s been one of my favorite soapers ever since he started stirring up trouble as David on ONE LIFE TO LIVE. This guy is a comedic genius, and I’m hoping this’ll be the big break he deserves. But I’m also worried, because there are a heck of a lot of characters on the canvas, and already, some are getting the short shrift. We barely see Lynette’s husband, Tom, or Bree’s son, Andrew, both of whom I’ve always liked.

In case you’ve missed the endless promos, next week THE YOUNG & THE RESTLESS launches a massive (in terms of expense, anyway) storyline titled “Out Of The Ashes” which focuses on the aftermath of a building collapse in Clear Springs. In other words, the soap is continuing to transition into just another, plot-over-character soap. Why is no one in the Bell family stepping in to prevent the destruction of the show upon which their entire legacy was built? Bill Bell would be rolling over in his grave at what Lynn Marie Latham has done to this show. Listen, Lynn, you can pull all the GENERAL HOSPITAL-like stunts you want, but if we don’t care about the characters involved, we’re not going to watch. Meanwhile, DAYS OF OUR LIVES fans won’t want to miss next week. Oh, and bring a box of tissues.

For all the latest TV news and reviews

  • FX is airing a marathon of the entire season of Damages next Saturday (10/20), so those who do want to catch up (and have lots of time on their hands or room on their TiVO) have the opportunity. It’s easily my favorite new show in a very long time.