I knew little Jamie was gonna wind up face-down in the pool sooner or later on ONE TREE HILL. I actually thought it would happen in the first episode, when pop Nathan was still in the wheel chair. I assumed Nathan would pull himself up from the wheelchair and save his son’s life. But no, they didn’t go the predictable route. Or at least not that predictable. Anybody else assume that when Brooke and her boy toy found a woman passed out in that glam New York City pad, it would be Victoria? Why is the show using Daphne Zuniga so infrequently? And am I wrong, or was Mouth completely missing from this week’s outing? And Lindsay? As much as I’m loving the show, it’s in serious need of balancing.
You’ve gotsta love the makeover episode of AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL, if only to see which girls will emerge looking hot and which will wind up on the “ghetto mess” side. Every year, a girl cries, and this year it was Fatima, who wept while getting a weave. Now I’m told by a friend who has had her fair share of weaves that it is a pretty awful process. But for God’s sake, Fatima was the victim of genital mutilation in her home country! Surely the discomfort of a weave can’t begin to compare to having your vagina sewn shut! Meanwhile, Allison was this week’s “oblivious moron”, what with her insistence that she rocked her photo shoot despite the fact that the photographer — who said of her “the lights are on, but nobody’s home” — and Mr. Jay were clearly unhappy with her performance. And just for the record, when Miss Tyra asks if you know how to say “thank you” and then the panel looks at you expectantly, be smart enough to say — all together now — thank you! Oh, a special note to the producers: We viewers are willing to put up with product placement, but there’s a limit. This single hour featured Apple Bottom jeans, specific Cover Girl products (as well as the weekly mention of the company with the makeup giant), Wal-Mart, Wal-Mart.com and Elle McPherson’s line of “knickers.” Frankly, I was amazed that with all those products to be placed, they found time for actual commercials!
Those special effects GENERAL HOSPITAL used for the climax of the Text-Message Killer storyline were phenomenal. You can’t create that kind of tension on a simple sound stage. And kudos to the soap for not airing that cool “behind-the-scenes” footage, which gave fans a glimpse into how they achieved the effects, until after the storyline had wrapped so as not to give away any of the twists. But now that Diego’s dead (again), Emily’s murder has been solved and Liz has survived her latest crisis, I have something to say on behalf of every person I know who watches this show, and it can be summed up in four words: Stop the violence. Seriously.
Can anyone tell me why the heck BIG BROTHER’s Julie Chen offered up, in excruciating detail, every nuance of the big twist that was about to unfurl? “In a moment,” she said in a tone that I suppose passes for excitement when dealing with the emotionless Chenbot, “the evicted houseguests will go to the door and find it locked. Then the alarm will sound and they will be called into the living room, where they will learn that they are no longer playing as couples, but will now be competing as individuals.” Way to take absolutely any suspense out of the next ten minutes. And how crushed was poor, “Matty”-obsessed Natalie upon finding out that he would no longer be forced to share her bed! Meanwhile, reason #4,3679 to love Crazy James (as he’s referred to in both the chat rooms and, perhaps not coincidentally, in his gay porn clip on the web): The producers obviously instructed each couple to “debate” who they were going to vote to evict, and James turned it into an exercise in mockery. Chelsea could barely keep a straight face during their diary room interview.