Ask The Addict

Question: I was up bright and early, all ready for today’s Ask The Addict, and nothing! What the hell is going on? Are you already skipping out on us? Sign me… Disappointed

The TV Addict: Okay, okay, so I didn’t have it ready at the crack of dawn! I forgot that you people need something to do when you get to work. From now on, I’ll work to have it up earlier on Wednesday mornings so that you can not only whistle while you work, but be wildly — or at least mildly — entertained.

Question: I thought you were a little rough on Mick last week, telling him to “get over” his bitterness about BUFFY being repeatedly snubbed by Emmy voters. Um, hello, haven’t you been griping for years about the way VERONICA MARS was treated? — TrendyWendy22

The TV Addict: True dat. And let’s not forget EVERWOOD. Fine, so I was a little hypocritical there. But to paraphrase Jeff Goldblum’s character in THE BIG CHILL, “I don’t know anyone who could get through the day without two or three hypocritical moments. They’re more important than sex.” Meanwhile, geez, is this week’s whole column going to be filled with people taking me to task for one thing or another?

Question: I remember a TV-movie from years ago that starred Cathryn Damon and Stella Stevens as women who’d been sorority sisters in the past. Somehow, they all wound up suspected of killing a baby. Any clue what I’m talking about? — Jason B.

The TV Addict: Frankly, I had no idea what the hell you were talking about, but since you weren’t yelling at me or calling me a hypocrite, I did a little research. Unless I’m mistaken, you’re talking about the 1979 TV-Movie FRIENDSHIPS, SECRETS & LIES, which also starred Shelley Fabares and Loretta Swit (of M*A*S*H) fame. In the flick — which apparently isn’t available on DVD or VHS for some reason — a baby’s skeleton is found when an old sorority house is torn down. The women who lived in the house years earlier are all suspected of having killed the baby, and get together to try and figure out which one of them secretly gave birth. Several people I talked to remember this flick fondly, so maybe it’s time someone look into releasing it on DVD and/or doing a remake!

Question: I was a big fan of the late George Carlin. Do you know if anybody is airing a tribute? — Laughman

The TV Addict: In fact, this weekend — Saturday, June 28, to be exact — NBC’s SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE will re-air its debut episode, which was hosted by the legendary comic (best known for his “Seven Words You Can’t Say On Television” routine). It’s a great chance to flashback to 1975 and get a look at where Larraine Newman, Jane Curtin, Chevy Chase and the other Not Ready For Primetime Players got their start.

HBO will also remember Carlin this week with encore presentations of many of his HBO specials, including his first — 1977’s GEORGE CARLIN AT USC — and his last, IT’S BAD FOR YA, from earlier this year. Click here for their complete schedule.

Question: I was watching the Daytime Emmy Awards Friday night and could swear that when GENERAL HOSPITAL won for Outstanding Drama and the whole cast went up on stage, Bryan Dattilo (Lucas, DAYS OF OUR LIVES) joined them. Did I miss something? I love him on DAYS and would hate to think he’s joining another soap! — Brookeryan

The TV Addict: Don’t worry, Dattilo isn’t jumping ship, so you and the other Lumi fans (viewers who want to see Lucas and Sami find happiness… as if that’s gonna happen anytime soon!) can rest easy. So far as we can tell, the actor just thought it would be funny to join the cast of ABC’s winning soap on stage! Although you’d never guess it from his almost humorless on-screen persona, Dattilo is one of daytime’s funniest guys. In fact, those seated in the Kodak Theater on the night of the awards got to see something viewers at home didn’t: During commercial breaks, attendeees were wildly entertained by clips in which Dattilo explained “tags” — those dramtic looks given by soap actors as scenes fade to black before a commercial — and mocked those of his fellow DAYS stars Drake Hogestyn (John) and Lauren Koslow (Kate). In fact, Dattilo’s extremely funny take on tags has been used to keep Emmy attendees in the Kodak theater entertained during commercial breaks for several years now!

Question: What happened to Greg on THE REAL WORLD? I missed a few episodes, and now he’s gone! — Mike

The TV Addict: Wow, how brave of you to admit watching MTV’s once great, now kinda sad reality show! We asked our in-house reality expert C.T. if he knew the answer to your question and of course, he did. “Mike,” writes C.T., “don’t let Daniel make you feel bad about watching THE REAL WORLD. After all, it’s better than… um… THE SIMPLE LIFE. Yeah, that’s it! Anyway, Greg basically got the boot. After blowing off several of the classes and performances at the improv theater where this season’s houseguests are working — and I use the word loosely — Greg was fired. Apparently, the woman who runs the improv program didn’t think attending a fashion show (not being in it, mind you, but attending) was as important as going to their so-called job. As a result, he was fired. And apparently, in the REAL world, when you’re fired from the job, you’re off the show. So Greg packed his bags and left. Frankly, since he and muscle-bound rageaholic Joey left, things have gone rapidly downhill. And not in a good way.”

Question: Why is there a new judge show on the air everytime I turn around? JUDGE JUDY, CHRISTINA’S COURT, THE PEOPLE’S COURT, JUDGE JOE BROWN… enough! I hate this crap! Make it stop! — Chuckie

The TV Addict: Blame the audiences who tune in to these cheap to produce, highly re-runnable crapfests, Chuckie. Like everything else on television, the producers crank out what people want to see. If millions sit on their butts watching smartass judges dispense lopsided justice every day, then that’s what we’re going to see more of. Like it or not, television is a money-making medium, and right now, there’s nothing hotter (or cheaper) than the court shows which are slowly but surely consuming up every available daytime hour.

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  • I LOVE Judge Judy. It’s a staple of my day.

    That woman rocks!

  • SimplyKimberly

    General Hospital is my soap. It is the one I’ve followed since I was a kid. But how on earth did it win best of anything? I am only hanging by a thread until Luke Spencer takes that final walk and then it will be a matter of time before I stop watching altogether. The mob is killing that show.

    And if you are going to Comic Con you have to find out from Darlton exactly how short Sawyer’s hair is going to be. Big Damn Heroes need a hair style befitting them and a really short do is not going to cut it.

  • hen0219

    What actors are leaving/joining shows this fall? A list would be great!

  • allie

    I haven’t watched DOOL in such a long time (since I started a full time day job and my VCR broke so I couldn’t set it to record), but hearing you speak of Lumi made me miss it (they were about the only characters I loved watching). Sad to hear that they are still not together 🙁

    QUESTION: Maybe this is the result of some vivid dream, but I’m sure about 15 years ago I watched 2 movies. The first was a sequel to the Wizard of Oz I think, and I recall heads in glass cabinets or something like that – was that a real movie? Secondly, I think I saw a movie where snakes came up out of the toilets in the girl’s room of a school/college gym – was that a real movie? (I still find myself checking a toilet for snakes before I use it, and I’d like to believe that paranoia was caused by something, like Jaws caused my extreme phobia of the ocean and being alone in a swimming pool).

  • Allie,

    You’re not dreaming. The WIZARD OF OZ sequel was called RETURN TO OZ, and OMFG did it freak me out as a kid. More info can be found at

    As for the other movie with snakes coming up the toilet, can’t help you there. Maybe a reader can chime in with an answer though

  • stella

    Return To OZ freaked me out too when I was a kid, especially those rolly skater people with 4 legs. But then I saw the movie again, and it wasn’t all that bad, just some cheap special effects really.