This Week in Embarrassingly Pointless Big Media Stories

First off, a disclaimer. In these troubled economic times filled with untimely layoffs and unfortunate amounts of downsizing, we honestly don’t hold big media accountable for their actions. I mean really. If non-stop TWILIGHT coverage is going to keep our bible (Entertainment Weekly) afloat. Well, then bring on this weeks umpteenth article debating the finer points of Robert Pattinson’s hair.

That said, like the proverbial parent who simply can’t keep their mouth shut when it comes to pointing out every tiny little inconsequential flaw in their child’s life… and no, our TV Addiction isn’t symptomatic of any other issues, we swear. This TV Addict wanted to take an opportunity to shine the spotlight on some of our favorite media outlets as we present our first ever edition of embarrassingly pointless big media stories.

Exhibit A: TVGuide
We find Matt Mitovitch guilty on one count of stating the obvious with his Exclusive! Breaking!! News!!! That LOST fans will get an uninterrupted Season 5 [See link]. Well Duh. I mean correct us if we’re wrong, but was being able to schedule the show sans interruptions not one of the driving forces behind ABC’s strategy to give LOSTerminds Damon Lindeloff and Cartlon Cuse a set end date, condensed sixteen episode seasons and a January premiere?

Exhibit B: TVGuideIs author Erin Fox seriously asking readers what the message behind Jennifer Aniston’s recent GQ cover is? Because we thought it was pretty clear. Nude Jennifer Aniston equates to pointless articles like this one and more importantly, oodles of press for her upcoming holiday movie MARLEY & ME.

Exhibit C: USA Today
Or to be more specific, any of the media outlets who thought the non-announcement announcement that ABC has begun talks with DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES creator Marc Cherry to continue the show for a ninth season was news. Look, Marc Cherry can keep talking all he wants about when and how DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES will and should come to an end. But the reality is, Wisteria Lane is not a mythical island that may-or-may-not possess mysterious powers. There is no dense mythology or ultimate end game. In fact, if this season has proven anything, it’s that, Marc Cherry and his team pretty much make stuff up as they go along. Which is fine, but also completely conducive to continuing the adventures of Bree, Gabby, Susan and Lynette for as long as the ratings hold up. So Mr. Cherry, keep talking. But the moment you or any of the women of Wisteria Lane want out, Heather Locklear is anxiously waiting in the wings. Mark my words, DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES will be ABC’s ER. And USA TODAY, feel free to quote us on that.

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  • none

    totally agree on matt – he always has some “breaking news” that spoiler addicted or generel tv addicted knew for weeks

  • Ana Maria

    …this has been such a long wait for Lost that I welcome anything that comes up on the show whether breaking news or not…plus, I love Matt Mittovich’s writing!…

  • TVFan

    Once again, TVGuide should be embarrassed. As should EW for their incessant Twilight pandering and while we’re on the subject, E!Online for their Full House The Next Generation story.