Channel Surfing with C.T: AMERICAN IDOL, MELROSE PLACE, SNL & More!

At what point does a spoiler stop becoming a spoiler? I was talking to someone recently about NIP/TUCK and why I was disappointed in the big season three reveal concerning the identity of The Carver. The person I was chatting with suddenly got so upset, I could only assume I had been wildly gesticulating — you know, to better illustrate my point — and somehow severed one of their primary arteries. “I haven’t seen that yet! I just got season one from Netflix!” they said, as if I should somehow have been aware that they were drinking from a water cooler nobody had been chatting around in five years. Another friend of mine was taken to task for having “revealed” the identity of a major character who dies in the Harry Potter series. (I’m not being vague out of fear that I might spoil a surprise for you, gentle readers, but because, um, it’s been SO long since I read the book in question or saw the movie it spawned that I can’t remember!) Sure, it’s one thing if you taped, TiVo’s, DVR’d or are planning to watch something on-line that aired a few days ago. But after a week or two, doesn’t a spoiler become, well, literally yesterday’s news? Is the world supposed to speak of the adventures of P. Sawyer and B. Davis in hushed tones because I’m only now watching season two of ONE TREE HILL?

I’d like to get excited about the fact that ONE TREE HILL creator Mark Schwahn is in negotiations to head up the new incarnation of MELROSE PLACE… but let’s not forget that it wasn’t all that long ago that VERONICA MARS mastermind Rob Thomas was being talked about as the man who would update 90210. Wonder if that show would be better if he’d actually stuck around that zip code? In any case, I’m of two minds where the Schwahn/MP talk is concerned. On the one hand, TREE HILL is one of my favorite guilty pleasures, which is pretty much all I want out of a new versionof MELROSE PLACE. On the other hand, um, doesn’t the fact that TREE HILL is so great kind of negate the need for MELROSE? Especially since Schwahn would, like Thomas, only have him penning the initial script before handing the whole thing over to someone else. And by “someone else” we mean people far less talented. Like those writing 90210 now.

So AMERICAN IDOL is pulling the plug on IDOL GIVES BACK because the economy is in the toilet? Isn’t that rather like not feeding a bulimic because they’ll just vomit it up anyway? Oh, and don’t worry about those pesky rumors that the judges will be nicer this season. Executive producer Ken Warwick tells USA TODAY the comments of the judges (read: Simon) won’t be softened. “If they’re mean, they’re mean.” When the producer says he will “do his best to offset” the drop in ratings, why do I hear, “Simon will be meaner, we’ll feature more folks who can’t sing and don’t be surprised if we do a special tribute to Paula’s dead stalker!”

To the people getting their panties in a wad about SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE making fun of New York’s (blind) Governor Patterson: Lighten up! Then again, I was probably the only person laughing back in 1991, when GOOD & EVIL — a not-particularly funny sitcom from Susan Harris (of SOAP and GOLDEN GIRLS fame) starring Terri Garr and margaret Whitton — featured a blind character who broke, fell on or felt up every object he came into contact with.

I was a little disturbed by his week’s episode of THE OFFICE, in which the staff had an intervention for Meredith after she accidentally lit her hair on fire during the annual Christmas bash. Not because I thought it was over the top and uncomfortable… heck, that’s what THE OFFICE does on a weekly basis. But more importantly, it just wasn’t very funny. There were moments, but most didn’t involve the actual intervention. (Although Kevin pointing out how Meredith’s drinking had impacted him in a positive way was pretty fantastic.)

  • CT: just so you know that person is an idiot. If they didn’t stop you in the beginning of the convo it’s their fault. Same for the Harry Potter person. At this point it’s old news and if you don’t want to know, read/watch your book/dvds immediately and don’t go out until you do.

    I can’t believe they’re slashing Idol Gives Back. The only redeeming thing about that show. And when the economy isn’t doing well charities are the first to lose out. Nice move Idol. I will continue to not watch you now.

  • Nick

    Should we also not reveal that Joey chose (Dawson / Pacey)?

    Felicity chose (Ben / Noel)?

    Lucy Camden gave birth to (twins / triplets)?

    Buffy saved the (world / underworld)?

    Lorelai wound up marrying (Sookie / Luke)?

  • Good question about when a spoiler stops being a spoiler. And without spoiling anything, I’ll agree with your disappointment in the Carver reveal. It was bad enough that it his/her identity was such an obvious choice, but then in classic Nip/Tuck style, they had to take it even a step further and turn the Carver situation into something sicker than it already was. I think I may have given the show a final chance for one more season, but the Carver reveal was always a significant reason I stopped watching.

    And, still without revealing spoilers, I will tease that at least one of Nick’s questions above does not contain its correct answer in parentheses.

  • Jonah

    Am I the ONLY person who thought the whole “Idol Gives Back” was just an incredibly self-serving “look at me” promotion for the show? I could not gag down one second of any previous such programs. I’m glad, of course, that some underserved people probably received some assistance, but the whole concept just seemed like a chance for D-list celebs to hog the music spotlight.

    No, thanks. And, for the record, since there’s no Hollywood strike this year, I have ZERO intention of being sucked into the Idol machine again. Jason Castro himself couldn’t lure me back.

  • Jonah,

    Rest assured you are not the only person who thought “Idol Gives Back” was a shameless self promotional vehicle for AMERICAN IDOL. That said, seventy million dollars raised for charity is nothing to sneeze at.

  • Josh C.

    I have to say, I personally thought this weeks himym was quite funny. and unlike you addict, im not really old enough to remember that episode of frasier let alone remember that frasier had an episode about a bar

  • ct

    Josh: I have no frakin’ clue hwhat the hell you’re talking about! LOL I didn’t even mention HIMYM… let alone Frasier. Did I? Am I the crazy one? Which is entirely possible…