Least interesting root-for couple: Sure, we’re supposed to be anxiously awaiting the reunion of GOSSIP GIRL’s Serena and Dan, but, um, yeah… we’re not. Every other couple on the show – Jenny and Nate, Rufus and Lily, heck, even Cyrus and Eleanor – rank higher on the list. And then, of course, there’s the devilishly delightful Chuck and Blair, who are their generation’s Sam and Diane.
Best twist, comedy: “Ugh, not another guest star!” we said of 30 ROCK’s appearance by Oprah… until it turned out Liz had actually been talking to a pre-teen Oprah wanna-be.
Biggest jawdropper, daytime: When THE BOLD & THE BEAUTIFUL’s Storm killed himself so sister Katie could have his heart, it was the kind of compelling drama serials rarely tackle today.
Trend most likely to help bring about the downfall of civilization: We have no doubt that execs thing they’re being wildly clever in naming shows things like DANCE YOUR ASS OFF or BITCH, but all they’re really doing is making it tougher for parents to keep their kids from being exposed to things they might prefer to shield them from.
Best performance on a God-awful show: Yes, DO NOT DISTURB was a gigantic waste of time… except for the moments when Molly Stanton was on screen as Nicole, a model whose anger was rooted in hunger.
Oddest decision: Why TRUE BLOOD sucked the suspense out of their season finale by revealing the killer’s identity a week earlier we’ll never know.
Proof reality TV has gone too far: Did someone at NBC really think it was a good idea to let a bunch of bratty teenagers try and become caregivers to infants? THE BABY BORROWERS was a lawsuit waiting to happen.
Funnest reality show you never saw: VH-1’s SCREAM QUEENS — in which a group of gals competed for a role in SAW VI — was a major hoot, and with nary a catfight to be had. Our only complaint? This so should have aired during the Halloween season!
Best extended guest gig: As demented DA Miguel Prado, Jimmy Smits gave a killer performance on DEXTER.
Most misguided network: Bet you can’t turn on MTV and find an actual music video. And now that they’ve announced more than a half-dozen new reality shows for 2009, it won’t get any easier.
Fakest “reality show” since THE HILLS: DATE MY EX had former REAL HOUSEWIFE OF ORANGE COUNTY Jo being fixed up with a bunch of guys… who were living with her former husband, Slade.