Tonight’s TV Addictions: January 14, 2009

If there’s one thing this show has taught us, it’s that sometimes you have to look back in order to understand what’s to come. So tonight, in preparation for next week’s fifth-season premiere, ABC offers up a repeat of the fourth-season finale. Frankly, we’re not big on reruns… but given the complicated nature of LOST, you bet your time-tripping, freighter-bombing, Orchid-lovin’ butt we’ll be tuning in.

90210 (9PM CW)
Why are we watching last night’s episode of 90210 again? Because our #!$#@!!! Rogers PVR/DVR is so #!$#@!!! unreliable that it neglected to do the one thing that a “Personal/Digital Video Record” is supposed to do. Record the #!$#@!!! show!

Ellen gets lucky (with a man) and unlucky (with a case and the FBI), while Patty takes on Purcell (William Hurt) as a client despite his refusal to tell her everything she wants — and maybe even needs — to know.

KNIGHT RIDER (8PM NBC, E! in Canada)
They’re calling this episode “Day Turns Into Knight” (oh, those clever punsters!) but I’m gonna label it “Speed Rip-off” seeing as the plot finds a bomb attached to K.I.T.T. that will detonate if the car falls below a certain speed.

13: FEAR IS REAL (8PM CW, CityTV in Canada)
Last week’s premiere wasn’t exactly terrifying… or, um, scary, at least not until the end, when two contestants were “buried alive” as part of the “execution ceremony.” And comparisons to The Blair Witch Project were practically unavoidable. But I think one thing we can all agree on: Whiny Leah and her creepy lip need to be given the boot ASAP. Here’s hoping tonight, she winds up dealing with the rat-related final challenge.

KEY EXCHANGE (8PM FOX Movie Channel)
Your first clue that this movie is from 1985? It’s about yuppies. The second clue? Ben Masters — aka PASSIONS’ Julian, the man who had his penis lopped off and then sewed upside down in one of that soap’s crazier moments — is the star. The third sign? Brooke Adams — aka one of the three women to whom Phoebe Cates uttered the immortal line “Which one of you bitches if my mother?” in the miniseries LACE — is the female lead. Throw in co-star Danny Aiello, and this is practically a major event.

Josh — you know, the abortion this soap’s writers, um, unaborted a few years back — wants revenge against Zach. Us? We just want Zach to stop sharing inappropriate moments with Bianca’s girlfriend, Reese.

File this under things we would not have predicted five years ago. Hot: MEAN GIRL co-stars Rachel McAdams and Amanda Seyfried. Not: Mean Girls Star Lindsay Lohan. Awkward.

When a young woman goes missing from an affluent neighborhood, the team suspects one of her neighbors might be responsible. What do we think? Frankly, we can’t help but notice how many of the crimes on this show are perpetrated against women. Misogyny at work or good, clean entertainment? Discuss.

CSI: NY (10PM CBS, CTV in Canada)
If bridezilla is bad, a whole slew of them has to be trouble, right? That’s definitely the case when someone winds up dead thanks to a bunch of gown-happy brides-gone-wild during a major dress sale.

If bridezilla is bad, a whole slew of them has to be trouble, right? That’s definitely the case when someone winds up dead thanks to a bunch of gown-happy brides-gone-wild during a major dress sale.

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  • Mohammad

    you made a mistake in the first paragraph
    the first “finale” should be premiere haha

    it would be cool if they aired the finale first though 😉

  • Ace

    Ha, nice synopsy for Top Chef 😛

  • 90210 sucked anyways…i don’t get it, what’s all the big deal about the show if it’s very down right predictable? Just another show from the WB/CW tv show of white kids with problems. lol, One Tree Hill, 7th Heaven, Privileged, and son on…

  • Linda B.

    Any idea if tonight’s Lost episode will have words at the bottom?

  • Sorry Linda B,

    I have no idea! Personally, I hope not.

  • tim w. in tx

    Love the “key exchange” info. lol I , too, loved “lace” and that line, “which one of you bitches is my mother?” Classic. LOL Glad to know I’m not the only one who remembers such ‘good tv.”

  • ct

    Tim: Not only that, but I remember the less-popular sequel, in which our heroine gathered the women and said their mission was to “help me find out which one of those bastards is my father!”