Tonight’s TV Addictions: May 14, 2009

UGLY BETTY (8PM ABC, CityTV in Canada)
If it’s sweeps, it must be time for wedding fever! Which explains why there are not one but two proposals tonight.

When Tess and Lois clash, expect the unexpected. The eight-season finale also features Oliver stepping in when Clark seems kinda reluctant to kill Doomsday.

PARKS & RECREATION (8:30PM NBC, 9PM CityTV in Canada)
Frankly, I don’t think you should be able to tout something as a “season” finale unless you’ve aired at least 13 episodes, but hey, that’s just me. Anyway, this disappointing series — which managed to pick up a renewal for no reason other than it’s pedigree — wraps up with Andy’s first gig since he broke his legs in the pit. (That probably means something to the four of you still watching.)

The two-hour, fifth-season finale might just as well be called “Will They Or Won’t They?” as Izzie decides whether to have surgery, Mark decides what to do with Lexie and Bailey finds out whether or not she’ll be accepted into a pediatrics fellowship.

THE OFFICE (9PM NBC, Global in Canada)
The wildly-uneven fifth season wraps on a high note if only because it marks the return of Amy Ryan as Holly, the one woman who managed to make Michael seem like a human being.

30 ROCK (9:30PM NBC, CityTV in Canada)
Why do I love this show so? Because somehow, despite her legendary status as a loser in love, Liz Lemon manages to close out season three as a “relationship expert.”

If it’s the fourth-season finale, that must mean the apocalypse is here! Sam and Dean deal with Lucifer… and Ruby helps one of the boys try to destroy Lilith. Talk about your jam-packed agendas!

BONES (8PM FOX, 10PM Global in Canada)
The entire team falls under suspicion after someone is murdered at a nightclub. But the real mystery here is how the heck Motley Crue wound up guest gigging! This could be intriguing. (Click here for video)

In the fourth-season finale — and in other news, Holy Crap, this show has been on four years? — Earl tries to find Dodge’s daddy. I haven’t seen this show since early in season two. How’s it holding up, faithful readers?

SURVIVOR (8PM CBS, Global in Canada)
Anybody else kinda shocked that Coach is still in this? Tonight, he has to work hard to avoid elimination, and Erinn makes a careless slip of the tongue that could put her in hot water as well.

CSI (9PM CBS, 8PM CTV in Canada)
Rare poker chips are at the heart of an investigation, and Ray faces a crisis after he has to use lethal force for the first time. (Having written that description, I now want to go gamble after killing a co-worker.)

HELL’S KITCHEN (9PM FOX, 10PM Global in Canada)
The two remaining chef’s battle it out and a winner is determined.

It’s all fun and games — and jewel thievery — until one of your rich friends is a victim, right Ben? Meanwhile, Bryant takes Janilla under his wing until the trial starts.

The first-season finale finds Erica revisiting her brother’s death. Hey, while she’s at the cemetary, maybe she could toss a few flowers onto the graves of the soap opera genre that this network seems determined to kill!

The designers work on two styles, one on a budget and one without. Wonder which one guest judge Tinsley Mortimer would wind up wearing? (Am I the only one who has no clue who this Tinsley person is, save for the occasional GOSSIP GIRL reference?)

SYBIL (10PM Lifetime)
If you missed the original broadcast of this remake — starring Jessica Lange and Tammy Blanchard — here’s another chance to instead go out and rent the far-superior original, which starred Sally Field.

A kidnapping turns deadly when one of the CSI team is killed and another is seriously wounded. Oh, yeah, this is definitely a season finale.

Oh, look, it’s the supposed soap opera channel taking yet another chance to pre-empt the dramas that are their bread and butter for a cheap knock-off of a reality genre. Heck, here it’s not even an actual episode, but a preview of the show… and that same preview will run again at 11:30 p.m. Trust us: these Belle’s ain’t got nothing on the various HOUSEWIVES that Bravo has turned into a successful franchise.

  • Josh C.

    omg grey’s anatomy was crazy good!!!

  • Younowho

    Can’t believe that ending!

  • Mohammad

    holy long list. networks should look at this and realize they need to move some shows around. i don’t have a single show on tuesday except fringe and i have 8 or 9 on thursday.

  • Nick

    Mohammad, the nets have forgotten Friday and Saturday, as well. And frankly, Wednesday sucks, too. The point is, by everyone scheduling opposite the best shows on Thursday, SOMETHING is not getting watched. I usually make the choice between Smallville/Supernatural & the NBC comedies.