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I don’t know if this would count as last week or this week but it was on this week’s episode as well.

“We’re all prophets now.” FlashForward

Great line.

“Every time I try to destroy that clutch of scab-eating mouth-breathers it only comes back stronger, like some sexually ambiguous horror movie villain.” -Sue, Glee

HIMYM

Barney: Funny thing, and this is just me, I like my balls attached to my body instead of rolling around next to some eyeliner in Robin’s purse. Stinson out.

So many good ones from Modern Family.

Cameron: Mitchell is a snob.
Mitchell: No, n-no, I’m discerning.
Cameron: Official slogan for snobs. When we first met he wouldn’t even look at me because I was a hick from the farm in Missouri and he’s a big city mouse.
Mitchell: Who says city mouse?
Cameron: Country mice

Cameron: I’m sort of like Costco. I’m big, I’m not fancy and I dare you to not like me.

Phil: I was in a plane crash. (after being hit by a toy plane)

“There’s got to be more to life than eating pudding and watching CSI. Now come on, can you give an old man a working johnson?” — A surgical patient wants penile-implant surgery, GREY’S ANATOMY

“No, I’m not dead, that’s a skin condition.” Michael Jackson on South Park.
Sorry, I laughed hard.

I loved that CSI dig on Grey’s!

“Oh dear God please, please stop talking. I’m trying desperately to ignore the treacly sweet inanity of your asinine conversation but now I’ve got bile in my mouth and I will hold my tongue no further.” – Sue, Glee

“Let me be frank. Your husband is hiding his kielbasa in a Hickory Farms gift basket that doesn’t belong to you.” – Sue, Glee

Terri: “I’m the new school nurse.”
Will: “But you’re not a nurse. You don’t have any training.”
Terri: “Oh please Will. It’s a public school.”

“For a really long time that’s all I had. I just had little moments with a girl who saw me as a friend. And a lot of people told me I was crazy to wait this long for a date with a girl who I worked with. But I think, even then, I knew I was waiting for my wife.” – Jim, The Office

Dean: “Not a word.”
Sam: “Dude, you just got whaled on by Paris Hilton.”

-Supernatural

Parker: “Can’t you be his girlfriend?”
Brennan: “That would be inapprorpriate.”
Parker: “Why?”
Brennan: “Because we work together.”
Parker: “That’s a stupid reason.”

- Bones

I love this quote of Modern Family like Ace said:

Cameron: I’m sort of like Costco. I’m big, I’m not fancy and I dare you to not like me.

Dean: “Let me get this straight! Your ultimate hero was not only a short man in dippers, but he was also a fruitarian?”
Supernatural

OMG TVaddict you read my mind!
that’s the exact quote that cracked me up a couple of hours ago!
the fun in it is consedering that Greys is facing CSI on Thursday nites…so clever!

Jim was amazing, as usual:
“The boat was actually plan C, the church was plan B, and Plan A was marrying her a long, long time ago. Pretty much the day I met her.”

And Pam was great:
“Everybody’s driving me crazy, and I know way too much about Andy’s scrotum.”

I’m cheating and going back a week or two to episode three of Community (which I wasn’t sure about at first but this nearly made coke come out my nose)

Troy: *little tiny sneeze*
Jeff: Hey! Troy sneezes like a girl!
Troy: And how about I pound you like a boy that didn’t come out right.

Would you like a chocolate?

Elizabeth, that Plan C, B, and A quote from The Office made me tear up a bit. I was going to post it.

“Dear journal, feeling listless again today. It began at dawn, when I tried to make a smoothie out of beef bones, breaking my juicer.” — Sue from Glee

“…and without a championship, I’ll lose my endorsements, and without those endorsements, I won’t be able to buy my hovercraft.” — Sue again

Supernatural

“Let’s go gank ourselves a Paris Hilton” – Dean

“Dude you just got wailed on by Paris Hilton” – Sam

Cougar Town’s Barb (the red headed spitfire real estate agent) to Jules in regards to her younger man: “If you’re not going to eat that, can I have it?” LOL

Desperate Housewive’s Gabby to cops in reference to Ana, her way ward teen neice: “U know why kids R like this now, cause people like U won’t let us hit them anymore.” LOL

Dean: “Not a word.”

Sam: “Dude, you just got whaled on by Paris Hilton.”

Supernatural

Sam: “like from Snow White”
Dean: “Dude could you be more gay!”