Post Your Favorite TV Quotes of the Week

It’s Friday and if you’re a frequent visitor to — you know what that means! Time to post your FAVORITE TV QUOTES OF THE WEEK! New to No idea what I’m talking about? Simply post your favorite quotes of the week in the comments below and check back Sunday to see the winners. Odds are they’ll look something like this.

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  • Manju

    The entire conversation Gaby and Carlos had about bleeping on Desperate Housewives and “The next person that offers me charity or pity will be mentioned by name in my suicide note.”
    Jeff’s response to people wanting to help him.

  • Alicia

    “Guilt fades, but hardware lasts forever.” Jay- Modern Family

  • Ali

    “Oh evil comma Tracy” – Tracy Morgan 30 Rock

  • Ace

    Modern Family

    Mitchell: Just the emerald city at the end of my yellow brick road
    Cameron: Wow you did it
    Mitchell: What?
    Cameron: You made figure skating sound even gayer.


    Broyles: I took the job to make the world a safer place for my family. Instead, I lost them.

    Big Bang Theory

    Raj: The only thing I’ve learned in the last two hours is that American men love drinking beer, pee too often, and have trouble getting erections.
    Leonard: Focus on the game, not the commercials, Raj.
    Raj: I’m just saying, maybe if you people cut back on the beer, you could get out of the bathroom and satisfy your women without pharmaceutical help.

  • theTVaddict

    Just thought I’d give a shout-out to last night’s COMMUNITY which I just caught up with over lunch:

    Jeff: “TV is the best dad there is. TV never came home drunk, TV never forgot me at the zoo, TV never abused and insulted me. Unless you count COP ROCK.”

  • Josh Emerson

    “That woman really knows her way around a penis.” – Rob Swanson about ex-wife Tammy (Parks & Rec)

    “You don’t think I’ve been brought on to a million auditions to make Kim Cattrall feel grounded and human?” – Jenna (30 Rock)

    “In my defense, I didn’t know that Kathy Geist was going to finish her song by taking off her underpants.” – Liz (30 Rock)

  • Josh Emerson

    I just noticed a couple typos. That quote is obviously from RON Swanson and it’s Kathy Geiss.

  • Ace

    I can’t remember who said it, Robin maybe, but this line from HIMYM had me in stitches: “Shut the bagpipes up!”

  • Remy

    MODERN FAMILY has me ROLLING this week. I can’t get over how much that show makes me laugh.

    My favorite quote has to come from Phil and Claire’s discussion about their kids and their strengths:

    “…we dropped the ball on Luke.”

    And this gem at the end was also pretty great –
    “Are you going to take her out for ice cream afterwards?”
    “We can’t; she’s diabetic.”
    “Of course she is.”

    Aaaand one more:
    “You were in cheerleading, you made out with the quarterback!”
    “Oh, c’mon you made out with him too.”
    “But we were supposed to keep that as a secret.”

    And I can’t pull out a particular quote, but anything from Sheldon discussing football and frying food from this week’s BIG BANG THEORY was pretty great. Texas, represent! :) haha