Critics Go to Town on HAPPY TOWN (Alternate Title: 5 Reasons why we would not want to be the creators of HAPPY TOWN today!)

Still mulling over whether or not to pay a visit to ABC’s HAPPY TOWN this evening? Allow us to save you some valuable time that might be better spend clearing off your DVR, reading a book, or dare we say it, getting off the couch! No, really. To borrow a line from ABC’s very own advertising campaign, “Don’t let the name fool you.” Or the fantastic ensemble of TV Addict favorites including Amy Acker, Sam Neil, Francis Conroy, and Steven Weber for that matter. Simply put, having watched endured the first two episodes of HAPPY TOWN that introduces us to a quirky Minnesota town named Haplin (Hence, the title!) that has been plagued by a slew of kidnappings at the hands of the mysterious “Magic Man,” you probably can guess who we’re rooting for.

What’s worse — for ABC that is — is that we’re not alone! And to prove it, we’ve collected a few choice quotes from some of our favorite TV critics that we have a feeling won’t be making the HAPPY TOWN poster anytime soon.

“HAPPY TOWN just lays there like a pretentious blob of unkneaded yeast,” is just one of 10(!) reasons TV Guide Magazine’s Matt Roush includes in his list of why life will be a happier place if you steer clear of HAPPY TOWN!

“One of the worst written show in recent painful memory,” says USA Today… the paper that loves everything!

“You’ll want to go to a place without televisions,” promises the New York Times.

“You’ll want to go to a place without televisions,” promises the New York Times.

“The only similarities I could find between it [HAPPY TOWN] and TWIN PEAKS were that (A) they both air on ABC and (B) they are both set in small towns where the sunny exteriors belie a secret underbelly of darkness,” bemoans the Televisionary who let’s just say was not a fan.

“It’s like being dragged to a dinner theater where the troupe has decided to stage an amateur adaptation of TWIN PEAKS as a hammy homage to that show’s 20th anniversary this month.” swears The Washington Post.

HAPPY TOWN premieres Wednesday April 28 at 10PM on ABC (“A” Channel in Canada)

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  • shara says

    Maureen Ryan's The Watcher blog had the most scathingly awesome post on Happy Town, it is definitely worth reading:

  • The TV Addict


    Thanks for the heads up to Moryan's wonderful take-down of ABC


    I tweeted my thoughts on the show when I saw the first 3 episodes. Keep in mind, I loved Harper's Island last summer…but this was downright BRUTAL. I rarely tell people to avoid a show, but I am doing it here. Terrible terrible, and I usually love the genre.

    Too bad.

  • Linda B.

    Yeah, I was going to start watching this as I somewhat enjoyed Harper's Island last summer too. Will definitely stay away. Am deleting it from my To Do list on my DVR right now.

  • Hil

    Now people will watch the first episode just to see how BAD it is.

  • grumpiestoldman

    I'm still there.
    I miss Harper's Island so much, I'll try anything that even remotely looks that good.
    And that Stults guy is the world's worst actor. I love it.

  • Amy_D259

    Really wasn't that interested in this before.
    Must admit I kind of want to watch this now.
    Wanna see if it lives up to all it's horrible hype.

  • SaneN85

    I'm so sad to hear this, I was at least rooting for the cast to be successful. How can you deny Fred and Bunny Colvin. Not to mention that cute guy and shut-in from October Road.

  • Jonah23

    CW would use those quotes on marketing posters, dude.

    I was actually lamenting NOT watching, since the promos looked so good.

    And yeah, Stults? Oy.

  • Sourabh

    Damn it, was waiting for a good new show to watch.

  • Daniel

    whatever, I just watched the first episode and it wasn't that bad. Critics are such drama queens. They hate everything. I wonder how many of these jerks said Lost was a loser concept when they saw the trailer. So this show may not succeed but they don't have to be so darn snarky about it. pompous asses.

  • Sourabh

    Apparently the only critic who liked it: