Vanessa Williams joins DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES
Why? Given the performance she gave on UGLY BETTY, Williams should be anchoring her own series, not joining yet another ensemble, let alone on a show that lost its creative mojo several seasons ago.
Elisha Cuthbert, HAPPY ENDINGS
Really? You’re casting a woman millions of people despised so much on 24 that they wanted her alter ego to meet a grisly fate as a woman people would fight to stay friends with after she and her significant other break up? Yeah, good luck with that.
James Franco, GENERAL HOSPITAL
Looks like the big-screen actor will return to the soap for another stint this summer. In a twist any fan of the show will find shocking, his new storyline will reportedly unfold, at least in part in — gasp! — the hospital! (Trust us, if you’re a GH fan, that line is hysterical.)
Carter MacIntyre, UNDERCOVERS
Perhaps the funniest thing to come out of reading NBC’s press releases recently was to see the words AMERICAN HEIRESS listed as MacIntyre’s claim to fame. I will be stunned if anyone out there can tell me anything about HEIRESS, let alone MacIntyre’s role, without doing a Google search.
Kelli Giddish, CHASE
When the completely uninteresting in every single way Kiddish landed the lead role in the short-lived series PAST LIVE, we were stunned. The fact that she’s been given yet another lead — let alone as a “cowboy boot-wearing deupty whose sharp mind and unique Texas upbringing help her traack down violent criminals on the run” has us putting this show on our “blink-and-you’ll-miss-it” liste despite coming from Jerry Bruckheimer.