If the sheer number of interview requests have have inundated our inbox over the past week or so is any indication, Emmy Nominations are a very serious business. Less serious, is the nature of the following post, which takes a tongue–firmly-planted-in-cheek approach by offering up five suggestions not for your consideration!
In the category of Outstanding Costume Design, the nominee will NOT be… TRUE BLOOD. Not so much due to lack of creativity or quality, but rather lack of screen time. Unfortunately for those hard working men and woman working behind the scenes at TRUE BLOOD, it’s somewhat hard to judge clothing design that spends 97% of the time on the floor!
In the category of Outstanding Direction for a Variety, Music or Comedy, the nominee will NOT be… the man manning the control room during this last season of AMERICAN IDOL. Yes, let this be a lesson for all current and future directors out there: If you’re not capable of ‘squeezing’ six contestants, four uninterested judges and a Ford commercial into an hour long show without running a good five or six minutes over… you are the weakest link.
In the category of Outstanding Casting For a Drama Series, the nominee will NOT be… the brains behind V. Who are under the mistaken impression that five aliens and five resistance fighters constitutes an epic struggle for earth’s survival.
In the category of Outstanding Writing For a Comedy Series, the nominee will NOT be… GLEE. Grammy maybe, but when you’re season finale’s song list outweigh your words per minute, we’ve got a big problem awarding Ryan Murphy an little statuette.
In the category Outstanding Host For A Reality Or Reality-Competition Program, the nominee will NOT be… Kelly Choi of TOP CHEF MASTERS. So personality-free is the former model-turned-hostess she actually knocks BIG BROTHER’s Julie Chen out of the top spot on our list of “People Most Likely To Suck The Fun Out Of A Guilty Pleasure.”