Biggest Time Waster of the Week: Just how painful were Sunday’s 83rd ANNUAL ACADEMY AWARDS? So painful that they made going to movies like I am Number 4 (30% on Rotten Tomatoes), Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son (6% on Rotten Tomatoes), Just Go with It (18% on Rotten Tomatoes) and Beastly (18% on Rotten Tomatoes) seem like a good alternative. Well, almost.

Most Unrealistic Plot Twist of the Week: While we’re the first to admit that realism and 90210 don’t exactly go hand in hand (Yup, still smarting over Annie’s two whole months of community service for killing a man!), there is no way that Naomi gets rejected by Max for not being “his type.” Hetro, homo, black, white, guy, girl… AnnaLynne McCord is everybody’s type!

Least Suspenseful Hour of Television Ever: Despite a stellar performance by guest star Adrian Pasdar and one of the funniest bomb deactivations in the history of the small screen, we’re sorry to report that the second half of Monday’s CASTLE’s two-parter was not the page-turner creator Andrew Marlowe was probably hoping for. Simply put, when your show does not include the numbers “2” and/or “4” in the title, there is absolutely no way you can put both of your stars, not to mention the entirety of New York City in peril and expect audiences to buy it.

Saddest Reality TV Show: Charlie Sheen. Or, to borrow a classic line from THE SIMPSONS’ Helen Lovejoy “Won’t someone think of the children.”

Best Argument AGAINST Affirmative Action: Political correctness be damned! The successful kicking of Derrick Bond to the curb by THE GOOD WIFE lawyers Lockhart and Gardner was hands down the highlight of our week. With, Eli and Becca’s never-not-entertaining back-and-forth banter a close second.

And the Number One Reason We’re Rooting for THE EVENT’s Cancellation: Is it just us, or does the PARENTHOOD pairing of Jason Ritter’s Mark and Lauren Graham’s Sara bring back all-too-fond memories of that beloved little show that revolved around a loveable mother/daughter duo in a fictional Connecticut town?

Worst Casting Decision Ever? In spite of his recent success with HAVEN, some, okay we, might argue that NO ORDINARY FAMILY’s decision to cast notorious show-killer Eric Balfour in a multi-episode arc is tempting fate just a wee bit. Wouldn’t you say?

Best Argument FOR Affirmative Action: This week’s hilarious and surprisingly poignant installment of MODERN FAMILY was written by former SEINFELD scribe Carol Leifer, who we sincerely hope has already been offered a full-time writing gig based on Wednesday fantastic first offering.

This Week’s Biggest Loser: Your very own TV Addict, who actually took a moment to chuckle over the fact that Sharpay (Ashley Tisdale) and Ryan’s (Lucas Grabeel) Hollywood aspirations as illustrated in HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL’s “I Want it All” actually came to fruition this week with both stars playing pivotal roles on HELLCATS (Tisdale) and SMALLVILLE (Grabeel) respectively. And yes, we’re well aware that we have “issues.”

  • Nick

    1) AnnaLynne is certainly not my type. She’s more like a caricature than a real-life person.

    2) Carol Leifer is one of the best sitcom writers, period.

  • Ace

    AnnaLynne kind of frightens me. It might be that she always looks angry and/or drunk.

    Completely agree about Lauren Graham and Jason Ritter. Their chemistry seems so sweet.

    And we all knew NY was safe but the episode if Castle was still a good one. Esp the part in the freezer and when Castle yanked the wires.

  • I think I enjoy my CASTLE best when the case is either of a personal nature (ie. Beckett’s search for her mother’s killer), or one that maximizes Nathan Fillion’s comedic charms.

  • Liz

    I totally agree. Jason Ritter needs to leave the Event right now and come back to Parenthood!

    My reaction to Castle pulling the wires, was…

    “I guess the bomb’s not going to work.. Oh dang, that was awesome!!”

    So still an enjoyable episode.

  • For me Castle was wrecked by the network’s trailer department. Right after the cliffhanger the trailer pretty much showed things resolved. Wish they’d just let a cliffhanger be a cliffhanger. I knew they’d be ok, but the illusion of suspense was ruined by the spoiler. The second half seemed rushed and the best part was the wire pulling at the end. Otherwise it wasn’t as good as the two-parter from last season.

  • While on Castle there was no doubt that the day would be saved, it was intensely entertaining hour of television nevertheless. It was one of those great nail-biting episodes that procedurals about solving crimes don’t produce too often.

    The Good Wife was great. That is all.

    Charlie Sheen became more interesting. It’s always interesting to hear from crazy people.

    My favorite Eric Balfour tv moment is when he unexpectedly got shot in the head on 24.

    AnnaLynne McCord isn’t my type either.

  • I disagree. The suspense in Castle wasn’t supposed to come from “Do they or don’t they defuse the bomb?” but rather “How will they find it in time?” Yes, we knew they were going to save the day. The question wasn’t “will they” but “how will they?” To me, it was a very suspenseful hour, with minimal predictability. I think “Castle” nicely avoided too many bomb-defusing cliches (“which wire do I cut?” or, what would have been worse, awkward declarations of love in the face of certain death). I enjoyed the episode, and I think it was rather well done.