Most Chilling Premiere: Just how terrifying was the beautifully shot, ridiculously well acted and meticulously paced murder mystery that was Sunday’s premiere of THE KILLING? Rumor has it that the CSI, NCIS and LAW & ORDER franchisees were last spotted curled up in the corner in the fetal position crying. Suffice to say, AMC just raised the bar for procedurals. Big time.
Proof We’re In The Wrong Business: JERSEY SHORE “star” Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi earned around $24,000 for two 80-minute appearances at Rutgers University.
Best Unintentional Product Placement: When a scheduling conflict for Titus Welliver precluded an appearance by Glenn Childs on Tuesday’s episode of THE GOOD WIFE the producers turned to a talking doll to deliver Childs’ message to Matt Czuchry’s Cary. An adorable animatronic lion produced by a small Japanese company that we simply must own!
The “Why Bother” Award Goes To…: Britain’s ITV who, apparently not realizing that the ship sailed several years ago, are making a four-part movie to commemorate the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the “Titanic.”
Saddest Ending: Despite an uneven freshman season that didn’t quite live up to its promise, Tuesday’s NO ORDINARY FAMILY finale most definitely set up what would surely be a comically cool second season featuring 80 big baddies on the loose… assuming of course the proverbial powers at ABC are feeling generous.
Best Advice We Have To Give: Hey, TEEN MOM star Farrah Abraham… listen up. Rather than writing what your website, in an audacious display of delusion, proclaims to be “the most anticipated book of 2011” and then going on a book tour… raise your dang baby!
Biggest Bandwagon Alert: If our Twitter feed continues to explode during every single AMERICAN IDOL results show, we may have to actually start watching this thing again. Seriously folks, get a grip.
The Accidental Prophet Award Goes To…: Glenn Beck, for having spent months predicting that the end of the world was upon us when, in reality, it was actually the end of his Fox News Channel show that was drawing nigh.
Most Cleverly Timed Announcement: Have we really become that cynical that the first thought to pop into our head following the news that Tina Fey has a “bun in the oven” was just how clever it was that she timed her pregnancy announcement to coincide with the release of her hilarious new book Bossypants? Why yes we have.
Meltdown O’ The Week: Cold fish Alexandria kept her cool on AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL even as bitchy beauty Brittani berated her in front of Nigel and clients. When called out for behavior unbecoming a model, Britt ran back stage and hyperventilated, cried and had a mini panic attack.
Best Mythbusting: When it came time for TOP MODEL’s Tyra to announce who’d be going home, she made it clear that she’d been outvoted, explaining that despite what many believe, she does not, in fact, have final say if she disagrees with the judge’s decision.
Most Blatant Rip-Off: Could someone please tell TLC and Ryan Seacrest that their “new” show — I KID WITH BRAD GARRETT (in which the gentle giant interacts with children) — is a big ol’ rip off of the INFOMANIA segment “Kid’s Kouch” with the hilarious Ben Hoffman. And not nearly as funny.
Oddest Decision: WWE head Vince McMahon announced he wants to take the “wrestling” out of World Wrestling Entertainment. So what will WWE stand for now? Apparently, nothing, as they’ll just be three kinda random letters.
Biggest Shock: After surviving weeks on Redemption Island, SURVIVOR’s Matt rejoined the newly-merged tribes… only to be blindsided by a vote that sent him straight back to the island.