This past weekend, the TV Addict took a break from the small screen to check out Scream 4 on the big one. And while the movie was far from perfect (Seriously folks, can somebody please explain to the denizens of Woodsboro that when you live in a town with a very bloody history of gruesome killings, it probably wouldn’t be the worst idea to walk around with a Kevlar Vest!) we couldn’t help but chuckle at the plethora of TV teens who met their untimely demise at the hands of Ghostface. What’s more, on the off chance there is a Scream 5, we didn’t want to miss this opportunity to offer up a few of our not-so-favorite TV teen characters for Kevin Williamson and Co’s consideration should he be so inclined.
GOSSIP GIRL’s Vanessa Abrams
When the best thing one can say about a character after almost four seasons on the air is how thankful we are that television’s most notorious wet blanket has been pretty much missing in action for the majority of GOSSIP GIRL’s fourth season, you know it’s time to go.
90210’s Adrianna Tate-Duncan
If there’s one thing that we’ve learned about no-drama Adrianna following three tumultuous seasons on 90210 — well, aside from the fact that she really needs to do a better job when it comes to giving herself a nickname — it’s that be it cheating, lying, or stealing, there is nothing she won’t do to extend her fifteen minutes of fame. And let’s face it, in this increasingly crowded media landscape, what better way to ensure your name will forever live on in infamy than by dying at the hand of one of America’s most notorious serial killers.
GLEE’s Rachel Berry
Now far be it from us to do GLEE writers Ryan Murphy, Brad Falchuk and Ian Brennan’s job. But we just can’t help but feel that the mysterious disappearance by spotlight-stealing, attention-addicted, sweater-sporting overachiever that is Rachel Berry would do wonders for the careers of under-utilized members of New Directions like Tina and Mercedes. We’re just sayin.
V’s Tyler Evans
Despite the fact that Lisa 2.0 already took out a sizeable chunk out of Tyler’s neck and executive producer Scott Rosenbaum was kind enough to have go on record by swearing that television’s most grating teenager won’t be back should V be lucky enough to see a third season, we’re just going go ahead and play it safe by booking Tyler a one-way trip to Woodsboro.
Absolutely any cast member on THE SECRET LIFE OF THE AMERICAN TEENAGER
Needless to say, if you have to ask why, you clearly have yet to see the show.