This Week’s Showrunner Gold Star Goes To… : Jeff Eastin, whose highly-engaging third season premiere of WHITE COLLAR — complete with accessible storyline and ridiculously likeable ensemble — just cost us $46.98 on iTunes as we rushed to download seasons 1 and 2 in an effort to catch up with what we’ve been missing.
Best Acceptance Speech: Reese Witherspoon managed to squeeze a positive message for the youth of American into the MTV Movie Awards by saying, “I know it’s cool to be bad… but it’s also possible to make it in Hollywood without a reality show. When I came up in this business, if you made a sex tape, you were embarrassed and you hid it under the bed.” Kudos, lady. Kudos!
Why Actors Work From Scripts: Seven words. Robert Pattinson at the MTV Movie Awards.
Reason #234 We’re Grateful We Own a DVR/PVR: Did you see how Jason Momoa’s Dotharki horse lord Khal Drogo eviscerated his opponent during a life-and-death battle for the leadership of the tribe on this week’s GAME OF THRONES?
Person Most Likely To Be Celebrating Weinergate: 30 ROCK star Alec Baldwin, who, like the politico-turned-punchline, has been eyeing a run at the New York City Mayor’s office. Remind us which is the bigger offence: tweeting pics of your junk or calling your daughter a nasty little pig?
Proof That Sex Doesn’t Always Sell: MTV gave those naked kids on SKINS their walking papers. (Hopefully, a pair of shoes in which to do so!)
The “TV-So-Gross-It-Makes-You-Feel-Dirty” Award Goes To… : ABC’s THE BACHELORETTE for gleefully turning heartbreak and humiliation into “entertainment.”
To Be Filed Under D For Duh: NBC announced they’d be releasing a soundtrack to the upcoming series SMASH, as if to pretend the money GLEE’s tunes rake in didn’t put the green in greenlit where the new show’s pick-up was concerned.
Deathwatch, Daytime Division: News that ABC would be giving Katie Couric the slow currently occupied by GENERAL HOSPITAL left fans fairly certain — despite tepid-at-best “assurances” from the Mouse House PR team — that the network would be soap free by the end of 2012.
Best Way To Make A Conservative’s Head Explode: Tell them that a study shows folks who have seen MTV’s TEEN MOM are more likely to take a pro-choice stance on abortion.
The “Nail, Meet Coffin” Award Goes To… : The tune “Don’t Stop Believing”, which — with its use as the farewell tune warbled to Meredith Viera by her fellow TODAYers — officially became dead to us.
Most Stunning Hour Of Television: If you didn’t catch this week’s episode of THE KILLING, seek it out. Now. Thank us later.
The “Take That!” Award Goes To…: Jon Stewart, whose media-skewing DAILY SHOW, kicked Fox News’ butt in the ratings, giving fans of little things like truth and journalistic integrity a reason to celebrate.
Worst Apology: After yet another gay-bashing tirade, supposed funny man Tracy Morgan said he was sorry “for his word choice.” Not for the sentiments expressed, just for the way in which he expressed them. Stay classy, dude.