Most Beaten Horse: Did you miss COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN in it’s 8 p.m. timeslot on new home Current? Never fear… you can catch it again at Noon, 3 p.m., 6 p.m., 11 p.m., 2 a.m., 4 a.m. and 7 a.m. No, seriously.
Best Spin: In effort to stave off negative reviews from those expecting a show involving time travel and dinosaurs to be a great sci-fi adventure, FOX is warning viewers that TERRA NOVA is an “epic family drama”. In other words, 7th HEAVEN meets Jurassic Park.
Most Uncanny Timing: Airing live following President Obama’s address to the nation in which he announced troop withdrawls from Afghanistan, SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE coincidentally featured an intense number involving a soldier’s return from serving in that country.
Most Discussed Show Nobody Actually Watched: THE KILLING’s controversial season ender got so much ink everyday TV viewers might have mistaken it for a megahit as opposed to a show that drew a relatively small audience.
Best New Addition: Hulu began airing BBC’s sexy sci-fi series MISFITS. Expect “Monkey Slut” to become the next big catchphrase.
Proof That Death Is A Temporary Condition: FUTURAMA returned from its latest hiatus/cancellation.
Most Poorly Disguised Movie-Length Advertisement: The 38th Annual Daytime Emmy Awards were so busy pimping Las Vegas that they practically forgot to hand out awards.
Most Obvious Failed Ploy: Having already given Oprah a Lifetime Achievement Emmy, the Emmy producers – in a desperate attempt to trick viewers into watching – made up a new award (the Crystal Pillar) to give the legend. Clearly onto their schtick, Oprah didn’t bother to show up, instead submitting a brief, pre-taped acceptance speech.
Some We’re Most Psyched To Groove To: Sure, most kids don’t even know what vinyl is but we’re stoked about Showtime’s series by that name which will explore the music industry of the 70’s.
Worst Date Ever: Pity the poor guy who winds up going out with octomom Nadya Suleman on CELEBRIDATE. “So, um… do you like kids?”
The “Glad You Asked” Award Goes To… : Row Lowe, who pondered whether or not he should return to CALIFORNICATION. Our answer? If it gets you off PARKS & REC, but all means… yes.
Most Ridiculous Statement Ever: As TRUE BLOOD prepares to premiere its fourth season, creator Alan Ball admitted he’s considering ending the show after the fifth year wraps. Why? He’s not sure he has “any left in him” beyond that. Dude, five seasons at, what, 12, 13 episodes each? Read more of the books upon which the show is based.
Reason So Many Folks At Fox Are Frowning: GLEE Creator Ryan Murphy says there will be fewer musical numbers next season. This is bad news for fans because it means more time for the show to fill with ridiculous storypoints and badly-plotted story arcs, but even worse for folks at Fox who’ve made a not-so-small fortune off sales of the show’s tunes.
Biggest Tease: And no, we don’t mean that in a good way. But it goes to ABC for purposely misleading viewers into thinking Bentley would show up on last week’s THE BACHELORETTE… and then ran promos indicating that “no, really, this week, he really will.”