The AMERICA’S GOT TALENT auditions continue in full force, this time with Sharon, Piers, and Howie scouting talent in Seattle for the second day.
Day 1 of Seattle’s auditions resulted in very little ‘actual’ talent invited to the Vegas party; impressionist Melissa Villasenor and the lead girl from Pop Life being the only notable finds. Day 2 had to be better, right?
Unfortunately, no. In fact, no performer made the cut until nearly halfway through the hour long episode – the longest dry run I’ve seen on this show. Seattle, as it turns out, does NOT have talent. What it had, however, are a boatload of freaks and a few diamonds in the rough.
Let’s take a look at the highlights:
Alaska – Cross Dressing Weirdo “Freestyle Dancer”
This cross dressing Alaskan native promised that when he walked on stage he would have everyone’s complete attention. That part is true, but definitely not for the reason he was thinking. It’s not every day you see a native Alaskan wear high heels, but it’s a rare treat to see one wear heels AND bob his head up and down like a chicken at the same time. It was like the Daniel LaRusso’s “Crane” move with cheesy music… and no kicking.
Howie and Sharon apparently appreciated his freestyle (???) but not enough to put in through. Thank goodness.
My Prediction: Get ready to do the Alaska dance at your favorite Alaskan dance club and bar! What? You don’t have one in your area?
Geechy Guy, Comedian
Geechy Guy is a joke machine, literally. He’s the King of one-liners, and even has a Guinness World Record to prove it. In all honesty, this isn’t the first time I’ve seen Geechy, who has made several appearances on Leno over the years and a has performed in comedy clubs nationwide. In all honesty, I almost think he’s a little too ‘pro’ to be on this show, but he most certainly has talent.
In any case, Geechy is awesomely strange and really funny if you like creative one-liners hitting you in rapid succession. Thankfully, 2/3 of the AMERICA’S GOT TALENT judges do (I’ll let you guess which one didn’t).
I particularly loved the “I’m nervous act” he put on, which has to be a load of bull considering how much stage time this guy has under his belt.
My Prediction: He’s a shoe-in for the live shows, and has enough material for 20 competitions.
Illumi Men’s Chorale – Men’s Chorus
Illumi Men’s Chorale is a giant men’s chorus, complete with the stereotypical fat guy who really belts it out at the end. The music choice was interesting, and they certainly are talented singers as a group. Unfortunately, the didn’t show much of the act, but what I heard shows promise that these guys have a unique spin that could get them to the live shows.
My Prediction: With these kinds of acts, it’s all about music choice. If they can keep taking modern, relevant songs and spin them in their own way, they could go far.
Soliel Rousseau – Pole Dancer
Apparently while working at a fire station, Soliel looked at that giant pole firefighters slide down and said “Holy crap! I need to learn how to dance on that thing!”
It goes to show you how much things have changed over the years. Back in my day women taught themselves how to dance on poles the old fashioned way, while working at a strip club.
Unfortunately for her, I think she would have learned the craft better practicing in pasties. Don’t get me wrong, she’s cute in a non-slut kind of way and is even a decent pole dancer, but she’s hardly the master of her craft.
My Prediction: Her only hope to make it to the live shows is to start doing he act topless.
Seth Grabel – Acrobatic Magician
I’ve seen many of Seth’s tricks before, but he did it with good energy, two nice looking babes, and a midget. It was clearly the midget that put him through to Vegas. Still, the question with all magic acts – “Does he have enough variety week to week to keep it fresh?”
My Prediction: It’s hard to tell. All the magic acts so far have been somewhat blah, so he’s got a chance of making it to the live shows.
The BGP – Band
Seattle was the center of the world when it came to music back in the 90′s, but as good as The BGP’s lead singer was at sounding somewhat like Elton John, I’m not entirely sure they’ve got what it takes to put Seattle back on the music map. For once I agree with Sharon, all they proved is that they can cover a song and sound really close to the original. That, unfortunately, doesn’t give any real indication of whether or not they have talent of their own. After all, is mimicking talent the same as actual talent?
And for goodness sakes BGP – does using your kids to try and win points with the audience really work? Seriously, what are we all supposed to think? “Wow, what a talented group. They play music AND raise kids? Holy cow that’s really something! I would never have believed someone in their 30s would have children; you’re so special!” News flash: millions and millions of people have amazingly difficult lives and raise kids at the same time.
…and my daughter’s cuter than all BGP’s kids combined. So nyah!
My prediction: I think they’ll step it up in Vegas and make the live shows, but I don’t see a winner here.
The Art of Teknique – Child Dance Group
It’s not uncommon to see a group of young child performers on AMERICA’S GOT TALENT, but it’s rare when they actually have competition level talent. Their dance started a bit slow, but they really stepped it up and put on a pretty impressive routine. They were in sync for the most part, although after watching it a few times it’s pretty clear one of the three isn’t as strong technically. In any event, it’s refreshing to see some kids make it through on their talent merits alone.
My prediction: There’s no way they’ll win the whole thing, but they’ll go down during the live shows after putting on one or two good performances.
Mary Lee – Singer/songwriter
Mary Lee is an odd duck. She’s been a closet songwriter for years, reading obituaries and writing music/lyrics for the recently deceased. I know… I don’t get it either.
In any event, Mary decided to write a tribute song about the (very much alive) Piers Morgan while showing a fan-girl film of Piers clips from AMERICA’S GOT TALENT. She wasn’t a very good singer, and frankly I found the lyrics pretty lame, too. In short, it was pretty much unremarkable. Nonetheless, the audience seemed to enjoy it, and of course Piers gave it a standing ovation.
Howie was a predictable no, but what was interesting about this act is that Sharon also gave it an unexpected thumbs down. 99 times out of 100, Sharon will give a ‘yes’ to most things the audience cheers for. Could this be a whole new Sharon Osbourne, one that actually has an opinion of her own?
More audition reviews and predictions to come. Stay tuned!
Missed an audition? Catch up on Season 6 of AMERICA’S GOT TALENT in our previous posts.