Oprah! Chad Michael Murray! Simon Cowell! The TV Addict Week in Rewind

The “Yeah, That’ll Happen” Award Goes To… : Anyone who thinks THE EVENT will get a wrap-up movie. Come on. And while we’re at it, no, Virginia, there ain’t gonna be a VERONICA MARS movie.
Biggest Wuss: Jimmy Whittemore, the guy who trashed David Letterman’s theater, reportedly drank $119 worth of booze before going wilding. Which, in New York City? Amounts to, like, five drinks and a shot.
Best Quote From What Was Clearly Opposite Day: Kurt Loder, in talking about MTV’s 30th anniversary, said the network had “evolved.” He might wanna look up the meaning of the word.
Swing And A Miss: Lazy writers said that Sarah Michelle Gellar would be “reunited” with Justin Bruening on RINGER… despite the fact that the two former ALL MY CHILDREN stars didn’t even appear on the soap at the same time.
Strangest “Comeback”: Chad Michael Murray announced that he’s working on… a comic book. Okay, fine, a “graphic novel.” But he’s been working on it for eight years! That’s even longer than his ONE TREE HILL alter ego was in high school!
Why Keith Olbermann Is Crying: Rachel Maddow — whom he’d hoped would be lured over to Current TV, where his COUNTDOWN airs approximately 67 times a day — signed a new multi-year contract to remain at MSNBC.
Reason #4,345,345 To Wish We Were British: They had the good sense to cancel a spin-off version of THE MARRIAGE REF.
Creepiest Contract: According to published reports, folks hoping to become part of THE REAL WORLD cast have to sign contracts which include such gems as “You don’t have STD’s, but accept that other people on the show might” and “You may be humiliated and explicitly portrayed in a false light.” We think you could probably replace “may be” with “will” on that last one!
You’ve Been Warned: Simon Cowell says of the tie-ins between THE X-FACTOR and Pepsi, “It’s the most collaborative relationship I’ve ever had with a sponsor.” In other words, wall-to-wall product placement.
Most Blatant Ratings Plot: Tom Sherak, president of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences, insists Oprah deserves a Humanitarian Award because, well, basically, she’s awesome. And it has absolutely nothing to do with her ability to create buzz and bring in numbers. (Bet she shows up for this one, unlike her no-show when presented with a made-up award at this year’s Daytime Emmys!)