Most Soup-Ready: Every word out of the mouth of BACHELOR PAD’s Kasey seems ready to be spoofed, mocked and/or lampooned by Joel McHale of THE SOUP. “People don’t realize, like, the struggles, the inner struggles I go through on a daily basis,” he said this week. “But my brain adapts. It goes a thousand miles a minute.” We’re sure it does, buddy. We’re sure it does. (Yet, somehow it never told you not to sing?)
Smartest Move Ever: In preparation for THE GOOD WIFE’s third-season premiere, CBS will air a 30-minute special on Sunday, September 4, that’s designed to catch-up new, lapsed or forgetful viewers on the story so far. We think every show should do this to help burn up some of the programming hours filled with reruns. (Plus, it makes for a great DVD extra!)
Worst Make-Over: FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS is now well and truly over, as evidenced by the fact that Taylor Kitsch cut his hair. Sob.
Saddest Reality Star Ever: SURVIVOR alum Richard Hatch — you know, the gay, naked one — went from being the guy we loved to hate to being the guy we hate to hear anything more about because it just bums us out. This week, a judge refused to give Hatch access to free legal counsel in order to facilitate his appeal of a nine-month prison sentence. Dude, just do the time… and then go away.
Oddest Feud Nobody Cares About: The cancellation of George Lopez’ talk show led to the latest nastiness in a feud that’s gone on for years… albeit largely unnoticed by most of the world. “There’s a lot of things people don’t know about this guy,” Erik Estrada said of his nemesis to Latina.com. “For me to talk about this guy — I’m wasting my time. The law of God, the law of karma, is on him right now. He is doomed.”
Irony Alert: Hollywood, perhaps the fakest place on the planet, has declared that reality casts will never be given a star on The Walk Of Fame.
Smartest Move By A Rather Dumb Person: Levi Johnston — aka Bristol Palin’s babydaddy — opted not to move forward with the reality show in which he runs for Mayor of Wasilla, admitting there were too many issues upon which he wasn’t as knowledgeable as a candidate should be. Sarah Palin, are you listening?
Dumbest Move By A Network: Fox’s decision to insist on an 8-day window between their shows air date and when they appear on Hulu led to a surge in illegal downloads. Kudos, Fox!
Bored Now: They’ve done all-star editions and had villains return, but by inviting Coach and Ozzy back yet again — each having appeared twice already — SURVIVOR has gone from jumping the shark to chumming the waters.
Most Awkward Kiss: We actually felt sorry for sad, delusional Erika as she threw herself at fellow BACHELOR PAD contestant Jake. She took every opportunity to touch, stroke and otherwise sexually harass the poor guy until finally, knowing he needed her support in the game, he gave her a long, awkward kiss. The capper? Afterwards, she said, “I definitely have good lips that I maintain with getting injections every six months.”