Worst Casting Decision: LAW & ORDER: SVU will add Gilbert Gottfried in a recurring role. Because an annoying character is what the long-running franchise needs as it struggles against newbie REVENGE. And speaking of REVENGE.
Best Halloween Treat: Move over Thursday night, forget Monday, thanks to the heartfelt hilarity that is THE MIDDLE, SUBURGATORY, MODERN FAMILY and HAPPY ENDINGS, Wednesdays on ABC — capped off with the increasingly addictive Emily VanCamp sudser that is REVENGE — has officially become our favorite night of television bar none.
Oddest Announcement: Butter-loving chef Paula Dean told Jay Leno she’ll be launching a clothing line. Wonder if it’ll be sold at K-Mart or in the deep-fried section of the local Piggly Wiggly?
Most Diluted Franchise: Much as we love THE SIMPSONS, the annual Treehouse of Horror is really stretching the definition of “horror” by spoofing Avatar.
Biggest Diva: Could someone please tell Maksim Chmerkov that he’s not one of the stars in the title of DANCING WITH THE STARS?
Best Halloween Treat (Runner Up): AMC renewed THE WALKING DEAD for a third season.
Network That Has Just Stopped Trying: Really, A&E? MONSTER IN-LAWS? You make us sad.
Most Depressing News: While JERSEY SHORE will continue to live forever, MTV pulled the plug on THE BURIED LIFE, a show in which four friends tried to help strangers fulfill their dreams. Maybe it would have stood a chance had they helped more people fulfill their dreams of becoming overly-exposed drunks with propensities toward violence?
Fad We’re Pretty Much Over: Following in the footsteps of MSNBC, Fox, CNN and practically every network but Comedy Central, CBS will prove just how desperate it is for Saturday-night ratings by airing the latest GOP debate in primetime on November 12.
The “Pays to Have Friends in High Places!” Award Goes To… : Greg Grunberg and J.J. Abrams, who — having already worked together on ALIAS and FELICITY — will yet again team up on an as-yet-unnamed project.
Biggest Head Scratcher: The only thing more confounding than the mystery surrounding Marine Sergeant Nicholas Brody’s true allegiances after returning home following eight years gone missing in Iraq is how on earth it took us so long to jump on the HOMELAND bandwagon. Seriously. Showtime FTW!
Dumbest Move: Rather than send Cochran — clearly the weakest link on either tribe — to meet his maker on Redemption Island, SURVIVOR’s Ozzy opted to face competition-crusher Christine.
Worst Role Model: In asking for a torrent link to TOP CHEF, Lady Gaga outted herself as a viewer of illegally-obtained shows. Here’s hoping this becomes an issue during any future court case involving her music being pirated.
Biggest Disappointment: FX Network will continue to enable Charlie Sheen’s insanely unstable lifestyle by announcing a deal to become the home of his new series based on the popular Jack Nicholson/Adam Sandler movie ANGER MANAGEMENT. American horror story indeed.
Most Annoying News: Much-buzzed-about NBC series AWAKE — about a man living in two alternate realities — shut down production to, says showrunner Howard Gordon, figure out how to turn the intriguing concept into a regular series. This, after having filmed six episodes. Dudes, shouldn’t that be — and call us crazy here — the very first thing figured out before a single frame is shot?