Most A-mah-zing News: HAPPY ENDINGS got a full-season pick-up.
Worst Liar: Kris Jenner tried convincing people that the Kardashian clan didn’t profit from Kim’s ill-fated wedding to Kris Jenner. Riiiiiggghhht. And those crazy kids were in it for love, not publicity.
Oddest News: So when ABC announced A VERY GAGA THANKSGIVING, did anyone else flashback to the infamously bad STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL?
Best Explanation Of A Lose/Win Scenario: Although Brian Williams’ new show ROCK CENTER had fewer viewers than THE PLAYBOY CLUB — the canceled show which it replaced — it’s still a positive for NBC given how much cheaper the news hour is to produce.
Biggest Mystery: How Katie Holmes continues to get hired after proving time-and-again that the artist formerly known as Joey Potter simply cannot act her way out of a paper bag, or in the case of this week’s HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER, a slutty pumpkin.
Most Valuable Guest Star: Leslie Mann’s hilarious guest appearance as a woman Cam attempted to pick up in a bar on Wednesday’s MODERN FAMILY has Outstanding Guest Star in a Comedy Emmy written all over it. Katie Holmes, take note.
Most Valuable Guest Star [Runner-Up] What’s the only thing crazier than Sunday’s GOOD WIFE revelation that Eli Gold’s ex-wife Vanessa slept with a second cousin of Osama bin Laden? How about the fact that her portrayer — the always hilarious Parker Posey — has yet to score a series regular gig on a hit television show? Seriously, current and aspiring TV Showrunners, what are you people waiting for, get writing!
Fight Married Folks Will Start 2012 With: Now that ABC is set to debut THE BACHELOR’s new season opposite the Rose Bowl on ESPN, couples can brace themselves to duke it out over the remote control on January 2.
Funniest Road Trip: With apologies to what was surely an epic road trip by PARKS AND RECREATION’s April and Andy, nobody does remote broadcasts better than a New York bound Conan O’Brien.
Worst Trend: Okay, can we stop tacking the word “wars” on every show? Spike has announced they’ll be doing a show called LUGGAGE WARS, sort of a kissing cousin to STORAGE WARS.
Most Timely Series: Leave it to the brilliant minds behind SOUTH PARK to beat everyone else to the bunch with an Occupy Wall Street-themed episode
Guilty Pleasure We Don’t Feel A Bit Guilty About: REVENGE has morphed into the best primetime soap since DALLAS, even if we still want to slap that silly accent right out of Declan’s mouth.
Hypocrisy Alert: Having given ONCE UPON A TIME low marks because it was “too complicated” before it proved to be a hit, we’re counting down the minutes until Entertainment Weekly’s inevitable cover story declaring it the coolest thing since LOST. And speaking of mea culpa’s…
Show That We’re Embarrassed to Admit is Kinda Sorta Maybe Growing On Us: Okay, we admit it! Despite the fact that the following statement is sure to lose us fred in the ‘critic’ department, WHITNEY — both the show and the actress — are kinda, sorta, maybe growing on us!
Thing We Need To Get Over: People, it’s a nipple. Whether it is attached to Katie Holmes, Nancy Grace or the grandmother of Nipplegate scandals, Janet Jackson, it’s a nipple. Deal.
Silliest Assumption: Folks are dubbing the upcoming SyFy flick LAKE PLACID: THE FINAL CHAPTER the last of the series. Hello, have y’all never heard of Friday The 13th: The Final Chapter… which was followed by seven sequels and a remake.