Most Welcome Media Blitz: The cover of Entertainment Weekly. MONDAY NIGHT RAW. Viral vids spoofing PRETTY LITTLE LIARS. Suddenly, Miss Piggy, Kermit and the rest of the Muppets are everywhere… and we couldn’t be happier.
Funniest Show You’re Not Watching: Just how fantastic was Tuesday’s RAISING HOPE? Put it this way, it managed to make an otherwise disgusting subplot revolving digging through human faeces both funny and romantic.
Least Welcome Trend: Is it just us, or did November 10th seem a touch early to air the mid-season finales of GREY’S ANATOMY, THE VAMPIRE DIARIES and THE SECRET CIRCLE.
Smartest Move: After being slammed for stumbling during the latest GOP debate, Texas Governor Rick Perry was downright charming — if not particularly presidential — as he presented his Top 10 Excuses on THE LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN.
Dumbest Move: Following an ill-timed tweet, Ashton Kutcher — who helped put Twitter on the map — first announced he was leaving the social media site and then, worse, that he’d be turning over its “management” to others. Just what the world needs: More sanitized, second-hand, unoriginal material coming from an actor.
This Week in Making the Most out of a Bad Situation: Despite our initial disappointment over ABC’s preemption of the entirety of their fantastic Wednesday night line-up to make room for the 2011 CMA AWARDS, it did give us the opportunity to catch up on Showtime’s HOMELAND, also known as the best show — next to PARENTHOOD that is — that you’re probably not watching.
Worst Impersonation Of A Beloved Host: Sorry, Molly Sims of PROJECT ACCESSORY, but you ain’t no Heidi Klum. Thank god for Eva Jeanbart-Lorenzotti, whose take on Tim Gunn’s role is prickly perfection.
Biggest “Screw You” To A Fanbase: The folks at Prospect Park announced that their plans to produce new episodes of canned soap ALL MY CHILDREN were now on hold (translation: It’ll never happen). For millions of fans, that means the ABC cliffhanger — in which a drunk JR shot into a crowd that included Susan Lucci’s Erica — will now go down as the worst finale in history.
Celeb Whose Scandals Simply Don’t Phase Us Any Longer: Mel Gibson supposedly fathered some D-lister’s baby? Who cares. At this point, you could tell us Gibson keeps tranny hookers locked in his basement and we wouldn’t be surprised.
Oddest Resignation: Hold up. So Eddie Murphy stepped down as Oscar host to show his solidarity to a guy who was let go for tossing around homophobic slurs? Great career move, dude. Good thing there aren’t any gay folks working behind the scenes in Hollywood.
Show Most In Need Of A New Time Slot: CBS needs to get THE GOOD WIFE off of Sunday night, where it is constantly delayed due to football overruns.
Finally, A Show Even We Won’t Watch: While we never got the country’s obsession with mean mom Kate Gosselin, the folks at CouponCabin.com must be shrooming if they think we’re going to hit their website to watch clips of her blogging about coupons. We have enough reasons to be depressed, thank you very much.
Read-The-Book-Before-The-Movie-Hits Alert: Showtime is turning Stephen King’s odd (and, as usual, overly long) but gripping book UNDER THE DOME into a series.
Worst Export: Britain, we apologize in advance for PEREZ HILTON SUPER FAN, the show featuring the celebrity blogger interviewing folks that you have, for some reason, picked up. You give us awesome shows like MISFITS, and this is how we return the favor?
Best Casting: Kudos to whoever looked at John Schneider of DUKES OF HAZZARD fame and said, “He’s perfect to play the father of GLEE’s blonde himbo, Chord Overstreet!”
Best Casting [Runner Up]: Say what you will about Tuesday’s massiverly overhyped episode of GLEE, but new Gay on the block Grant Gustin sure as heck knows how to make a first impression.
Network Most In Need Of A Facelift: It’s time for the folks at Oprah’s OWN to face the fact that my grandma’s youtube vids get more views than their programming. With THE ROSIE SHOW now averaging 185,000 viewers, the best they can hope for is a publicity-generating return to the cray cray that was Rosie versus Donald Trump.
Best Career Advice We Can Offer: Hey, Vanessa Williams, you know that talent deal you signed with ABC? Get out of it. Honey, this is the network that put you on DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES and then gave you less story than that old woman who babysits Lynette’s kids.