Biggest Disappointment: Just when we thought we couldn’t get anymore disgusted with this current season of DEXTER the writers decided to show Deb fantasizing about doing WHAT with brother Dexter?
Yet Another Reason not To Watch AMERICA’S GOT TALENT: Two words… Howard Stern.
Person Who Shouldn’t Even Have To Compete: Whether it’s the Golden Globes or the Screen Actor’s Guild, Jessica Lange should just be handed the award for her work on AMERICAN HORROR STORY. Let’s face it, she’s the only reason a lot of us continue watching.
Mental Image We Could Have Lived Without: Simon Cowell told Barbara Walters that the reason he and Paula bickered so much during AMERICAN IDOL was “sexual tension… on her part” and that he considered bedding his fellow judge.
Show That Could Use A Rest: Apparently, THE AMAZING RACE will be back on February 19th, having never heard that absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Silliest Overreaction: After seeing the way FEAR FACTOR edited the episode on which she and her son were featured, a former bodybuilder named Monica contacted TMZ to complain that the show made it seem like they had an incestuous relationship… thereby making sure millions who wouldn’t have ever seen the offending clip watched her and son Matias be all touchy-feely with one another.
Silliest Plot Contrivance: Wait, let us get this straight… TERRA NOVA’s team of highly trained military personnel have absolutey no problems adapting to a dangerous dinosaur filled world 85,000 years in the past, yet still managed to be outsmarted by a first-time mole whose means of sneaking off the compound was a giant hole under the fence? Allrightythen!
Best Ruling: The FCC — who wasted a whole lotta time over the past few years dealing with the after effects of Nipplegate — passed a law preventing advertisers from raising the volume on commercials.
Most Likely To Be Lying: Responding to reports that Barbara Walters told President Obama she’d be retiring next year, ABC insisted that she was “joking.” Of course, these are the same people who insisted that ALL MY CHILDREN and ONE LIFE TO LIVE were safe days before announcing they’d been canceled.
Reason No. 4,324 To Love George Takei: STAR TREK’s Sulu took to YouTube to unite fans of his sci-fi franchise and those of STAR WARS against a common foe: lovers of Team Edward and Team Jacob. “There are no great stories, characters or profound life lessons to be found in Twilight,” he said. “The only message that rings through loud and clear is: ‘Does my boyfriend like me?’”
Biggest Human Train Wreck: God-loving schitzo Brandon has been the only thing worth watching — if often through pitying eyes — this season on SURVIVOR.
Most Predictable Use Of A Catchphrase: After Donald Trump’s laughable notion of hosting a GOP debate collapsed, lazy pundits took the easy route with variations of “Donald Trump said ‘You’re fired!’… to himself.”
Grossest Pitch: Original SURVIVOR Richard Hatch — released from prison this week — wants a reality show in which he tracks down the biological children who resulted from his sperm donations. Can we all just agree this man needs to go away… pronto?
Coolest Finale That Nobody Seems to be Talking About: The only thing more mysterious than Michael Emerson’s Finch is the decidedly disappointing lack of buzz surrounding last night’s fantastic midseason finale of PERSON OF INTEREST.