Best Fan Shout-Out: Soon-to-end ONE LIFE TO LIVE used its soap-within-a-soap, FRATERNITY ROW, to do a story in which a fan (the fantastic Ilene Kristen as Roxy) tries to save her favorite doomed soap.
Oddest Move: So GLEE has cast REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA “star” NeNe Leakes? Huh. Anybody else think the casting couch over there reeks of desperation? And speaking of desperate measures…
Lamest Hail Mary: With the clock running out, Sunday’s DEXTER finale had the writer’s room doing their best Tim Tebow impersonation by delivering the single biggest twist longtime fans had been clamoring for. Too bad, what should have amounted to a moment of epically cool proportions came off as little more than a sad attempt to save what has universally been deemed as DEXTER’s most disappointing season to date.
Biggest No-Brainer: So scandal-ridden Alec Baldwin won’t be running for Mayor of New York City? Not since Donald Trump announced he wouldn’t be seeking the Republican Presidential Nomination have so many people said “Duh!” simultaneously.
Nothing To Sing About: Despite Simon Cowell’s infamous bragging about how successful the show would be, THE X FACTOR is ending its season not on a high-note ratings wise, but with a whimper.
Proof That Little Pitchers Have Big Ears: A 5-year old on TODDLERS & TIARAS declared that her 3-year-old nemesis (whose mother has made several questionable costume choices of late) dresses like a hooker. We laugh, because if we don’t, we’ll cry.
Most Overused Term: Either the folks behind the “flash mob” designed to save COMMUNITY don’t really understand what one is, or we’re gonna need a better set of guidelines. For future reference, if you promise us a flash mob, there’d better be dancing! Cheesy, choreographed dancing!
Fashion Faux Pas Of The Week: The pigtails worn by Ozzy on SURVIVOR. No. Just… no.
Most In Need Of A Hobby: THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA’s Sheree has tried designing clothes, acting (shudder) and now, singing. So far.
Fact We Hate To Have To Keep Telling You People: No, folks, (insert name of canceled series such as BORED TO DEATH here) is not going to be made into a movie. Ever. Now, in the words of traffic cops everywhere, “Nothing to see here. Let’s keep moving.”
The “Ah, That’ll Make All The Difference Award” Goes To… : The highly-anticipated Aaron Sorkin show which this week changed its name from NEWSROOM to… wait for it… wait for it… THE NEWSROOM. Did you get goosebumps? ‘Cause we did!
Article Of The Week: Michael Weinreb’s brilliant piece for grantland.com on the cancellation of HOW TO MAKE IT IN AMERICA. How can we not love something that starts with the line, “I humbly accept that HOW TO MAKE IT IN AMERICA was not a particularly good television show if we’re going by the standards of, say, good television shows.”
Dumbest Petition: Nearly 300,000 people signed a document vowing to boycott Kim Kardashian because she “has made a mockery of American culture.” Instead, they need to sign a document boycotting the viewers of any Kardashian show for giving the talentless family a platform to begin with.
Most Desperately In Need of Lightening Up: GLADD isn’t too thrilled with ABC’s upcoming comedy WORK IT because it features straight men dressing up as women. Two thoughts: Will they be boycotting Halloween as well, when every fratboy worth his salt dons women’s clothing? And secondly, no need to fret. The show probably won’t last as long as one of Kim Kardashian’s marriage.