Best Comeback, Primetime Division: For a hot minute there, it was looking as if the ladies of SURVIVOR were gonna be an embarrassment to women everywhere… until they came roaring back and won two challenges in a row.
Best Comeback, Daytime Division: Under new headwriter Ron Carlivati, GENERAL HOSPITAL had fans more excited about the beleaguered soap than they’ve been in years.
Most Unexpected Gift: Sarah Palin brought HBO more publicity than they could ever purchase by releasing a video slamming their upcoming biopic, GAME CHANGE.
Silliest Assumption: Entertainment Weekly, in breaking the news that Jessica Lange would play an entirely new character during season 2 of AMERICAN HORROR STORY, went on to say that “obviously” Connie Britton and Dylan McDermott” wouldn’t return because their characters had died. Two problems with that statement: First, it’s a show about ghosts! And secondly, anthology series’ such as AHS have a long history of using the same actors in different roles.
Worst Use Of A Cliffhanger: If ABC was going to go the entire month of March without new episodes of REVENGE, why not make the Fire & Ice party (in which Tyler was murdered and everyone was a suspect) the final outing before the break?
Easiest Laugh: The always raunchy MTV series THE REAL WORLD will film its 27th season in the Virgin Islands. Insert your own… um, joke here.
Best Show That’s Likely To Bomb: NBC’s AWAKE is the most original, fascinating, daring, smart and well-cast police procedural to come from a network in years. So of course, it’s bound to fail.
Dumbest Show That’s Likely To Succeed: The CW has picked up two episodes of PEREZ HILTON: ALL ACCESS. In asking his intellectually-challenged readers if they would be watching the show, the folks at his website then said, “That was a redundant question. Of course you’ll check it out!” What they meant, of course, was that it was a rhetorical question. The answer to which is, “God, no.”
Objection!: As her lawsuit against DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES creator Marc Cherry began, Nicollette Sheridan told the jury that she is not Edie Britt. Across America, thousands of KNOTS LANDING fans were heard uttering, “Of course not! You’re Paige Mathison!”
Family That Refuses To Go Away: Bristol Palin, daughter of Sarah and unlikely spokesperson for teen abstinence, has landed a reality show on Lifetime. Ironically, the daughter of the woman who says children shouldn’t be thrust into the spotlight, will be starring in a project — BRISTOL PALIN: LIFE’S A TRIPP — that puts her own kid’s name right there in the title. Kudos, you.
Proof There’s A First Time For Everything: Ben Flajnik, aka THE BACHELOR, claims that the show edited him to look boring. Because, you know, reality shows are so known for leaving the exciting stuff on the editing-room floor.
Best Response: Asked by the New York Times if a MAD MEN ad popping up around NYC depicting a man falling through the air stirred up memories of the brother she lost on 9/11, Rita Lasar spoke for many in saying, “I am so worn out by you guys coming to us in order to create a kerfuffle where none exists. You may think you are being sensitive to our feelings, but in reality you are just using us so you can write a story that refers only to your own feelings.”
Worst Promotion Of Birth Control: MTV announced they will follow four new young mothers on TEEN MOM 3. Wonder if they’ll apologize to all the adults out there trying to explain to their daughters that having a kid while still a teenager isn’t all fun and TV deals?
Best Oscar Ad: The folks behind REVENGE ran a stylish, sexy, flat-out cool promo during the awards ceremony that ended with vengeance-seeking Emily saying of the lives she’s thrown into chaos, “… and I’m just getting started.”