Best Reason For Soap Fans To Not Give Up Hope: Not only were GENERAL HOSPITAL’s ratings up under new headwriter Ron Carlivati, but sources told TV Guide that Katie Couric was hoping THE REVOLUTION would get axed rather than the sudser. Why? Hey, the lady ain’t dumb: Fans of the canceled ONE LIFE TO LIVE boycotted its replacement… and she’d like very much to avoid that same fate!
Evidence Most Likely To Become A DVD Extra: To refute Nicollette Sheridan’s charge that her character’s demise was written out of spite, defendant Marc Cherry’s lawyers showed jurors a video titled “Deaths On Wisteria Lane” that featured each of the Grim Reaper’s visits to DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES. And speaking of the most interesting thing to happen to DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES in seven seasons…
Biggest Headscratcher: Was it really integral to ABC’s defense to SPOIL the only interesting plot point to come out of Wisteria Lane in years?
Least Likely Conversation Starter: Who knew that THE WALKING DEAD — a show about zombies — would offer this country’s smartest debate on the death penalty?
Proof We’re Way Smarter Than The Folks At Entertainment Weekly: Last week, we called “balderdash!” at the magazine’s insistence that AMERICAN HORROR STORY couldn’t possibly be considering bringing back such past cast members as Evan Peters because their characters were dead. And, exactly as we suggested, Peters (as well as Zacharay Quinto, another season one ghost) will be featured in season two. Because that’s what anthology series’ do.
Most Entertaining Gay Dude On A Reality Series: He’s lean, he’s mean and he’s obnoxious as heck… in a good way. He’s RUPAUL DRAG RACE’s Willem Belli.
Least Entertaining Gay Dude On A Reality Series: How did someone as dumb, irritating and downright unlikeable as Colton Crumbie wind up controlling the game of SURVIVOR?
Biggest Disappointment: There was nothing funny about THE MIDDLE’s Patricia Heaton trash-talking Sandra Fluke (whom she dubbed G-Town Gal) after the law student was attacked by blowhard Rush Limbaugh.
Best Pitch: No doubt knowing that her new show, THE CLIENT LIST, already has a built-in female audience thanks to its airing on Lifetime, Jennifer Love Hewitt went after the male audience by telling Maxim magazine that “It’s a very lingerie-heavy show every episode, for my character in particular.”
Most Shocking News: It wasn’t that Steven Segal’s reality show was sued by someone claiming it had staged an unlawful raid, but rather that Steven Segal has a reality show at all.
Trend That Needs To Stop: ABC has ordered a new singing competition called DUETS. Because America needs another singing competition like it needs a more drawn-out election cycle.
Creepiest Photoshoot: The girls of AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL posed as toddlers with momager Kris Jenner. Apparently, pimping out her own children isn’t enough for the Kardashian matriarch.