Best Funeral: Sorry, DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES, but when it came to remembering a lost (fictional) loved one, the grieving of Robin Scorpio-Drake’s GENERAL HOSPITAL loved ones was far more moving than the service for Mike Delfino.
Best Funeral, Runner Up: Nope, DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES didn’t come in second either, thanks to ONE TREE HILL baddie Dan Scott finally meeting his maker… and, in the afterlife, the brother he killed several seasons ago.
Most Fun Marathon: Logo will host a “24 Hour Salute To Great American Cinema” by running Showgirls on a 24-hour loop… on April Fool’s Day.
Coolest Show: Too bad Discovery didn’t save the incredible seven-part series FROZEN PLANET for summer. It’s icy locals might have helped cool us down during the hotter months!
Most Violently Blah Series: Sure, there’s tons of action and lots of chase sequences, but MISSING suffers from a severe case of “seen-it-all-before.” And sorry, but Ashley Judd’s Rebecca pales in (inevitable) comparison to Jennifer Garner’s Sydney (ALIAS).
Producers Most Likely To Be Freaking Out: SURVIVOR’s Colton was possibly racist, definitely annoying… and the only interesting thing about this season. With him gone, expect the ratings to tumble.
Show That Really Needs To Call It Quits: We’d suggest that THE OFFICE take a page from M*A*S*H and go out while it’s still on a creative high, but to do that, they’d have to go back in time a bit.
Most Shocking Reveal: THE WALKING DEAD lived up to its name by having Rick tell the other survivors that they are all infected with the zombification virus!
Nicest Touch: On a show that is anything but subtle, we can’t help but enjoy the fact that the chalkboard listing the daily specials on the diner CBS’ 2 BROKE GIRLS work at often contains misspelled words. It’s a little thing, but very real… ask anyone who’s ever been to a similar establishment!
Best Fake-Out: After establishing that cursed objects were killing people, SUPERNATURAL cut to a woman chopping vegetables and surrounded by various sharp implements… only to have her wind up burning herself to death via an antique tea kettle!
Least Shocking Revelation: JERSEY SHORE’s The Situation has a drug problem and possibly one with alcohol as well. While he spent the week denying he’s in rehab, the real question is why not.
Most Pampered Puss: Think that cat Cee Lo Green loves stroking on THE VOICE is his? Wrong. It’s a rental, and a pricy one at that, costing the show $350 a day. Seriously.
Biggest Bully: Clearly both unable to define irony or know it when he sees it, Donald Trump took to everything from Twitter to Fox News to crow about the cancellation of Rosie O’Donnell’s talk show, going so far as to call her a bully. Best of all, he went on to say that his nemesis “fails at everything”… apparently forgetting that whole “I’m hosting my own debate” fiasco that collapsed when candidates ran in the opposite direction (not to mention the fact that CELEBRITY APPRENTICE had just hit an all-time low in the all-important demos).