Most Mixed Message: Star magazine reported that MTV, the network that has no problem making a small fortune exploiting teenage moms, doesn’t want the money-making incubators to have boob jobs. ’Cause, you know, that sends the wrong message.
?Daddy’s Girl: Allison Williams of GIRLS confirmed what we’d long suspected… that Brian Williams of NBC news is a cool dad.
Condition Only Celebrities Suffer: Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino left rehab after seeking treatment for a pill problem he developed from “exhaustion.” Someone please tell celebs that “exhaustion” is not a euphemism for “partying 24/7.”
Proof That Death Panels Do Exist: NBC aired a 3-hour episode of CELEBRITY APPRENTICE.
Unexpected Exit Everyone Saw Coming: Temperamental pundit Keith Olbermann and ratings-challenged Current TV parted ways with the latter doing the dumping and the former threatening a lawsuit.
Family Ties: Thanks to the PBS show FINDING YOUR ROOTS, Kyra Sedgwick found out her distant cousin was closer than she expected… as in hubby Kevin Bacon!
Biggest Diva: Jaleel White went off on his DANCING WITH THE STARS partner, apparently mistakenly believing himself to be the “star.” Dude, Urkel always was and always will be the annoying sidekick.
Best Dodge: No matter how many times TODAY’s Matt Lauer asked, Sarah Palin managed to avoid saying she thought Mitt Romney would make an awful GOP candidate. On the other hand, she also managed to avoid saying he’d make a good one.
Hell’s Bedroom: A former mistress claims there’s a sex tape of her and Gordon Ramsay floating around somewhere out there.
Oddest Transformation: Hoping that the third time’s the charm, Discovery’s Planet Green channel — which replaced Planet Home — will next become Destination America by ripping off a bunch of shows already being done by other channels. Translation: It’ll still be a ratings sinkpit, but not as much as the Oprah Winfrey Network.
Twitter Account Of The Week: @FatBettyFrancis features the plump MAD (wo)MAN spouting such comments as “They say an apple a day keeps the doctor a way, so an apple pie a day should work even better” and “I eat my dozen breakfast donuts with a fork and knife, like a lady.”
Best Comeback: After TWO AND A HALF MEN creator Lee Aronsohn told attendees of the Toronto Screenwriting Conference that “we are approaching peak vagina on television,” WHITNEY creator Whitney Cummings responded with, “You came out of one. You probably spend a lot of your time trying to get into one. This is kind of a mixed message.”