Most Sob-Inducing Send-off: “Go play, Sammy.” That one hurt, REVENGE. That one hurt.
The Perfect Storm Of Late Night: Conan and Letterman talking about Leno? How very meta!
Shooting Blanks: Lunkhead and former BACHELOR Brad Womack said he “dodged a bullet” where Emily is concerned. Dude, we’re pretty sure that gun was pointing in the other directly.
Dumbest Decision: NBC burned off the final three episodes of COMMUNITY rather than, God forbid, stretch them out and have original programming extend past sweeps.
Most Undeserved Punishment: REVENGE is moving to Sunday — already the most crowded night of the week — opposite THE GOOD WIFE? Clearly, we did something to seriously tick the folks at ABC off.
Plea Most Likely To Fall On Deaf Ears: CBS head honcho Les Moonves called Dish network’s ad-skipping technology “illegal.” Wanna talk criminal? How about continuing to let your wife, the Chenbot, ruin BIG BROTHER every summer? If we promise to watch the commercials, will you bring in a ringer?
Most Disrespectful: After 10 years, CBS shoved CSI:MIAMI without so much as a proper send-off. Worse? Patrick Wilson, star of the axed A GIFTED MAN, tweeted that he got the news via E-mail. “And not from the network,” he added. “Stay classy!”
Coolest Guest Gig: GLEE’s Jane Lynch doing the Best New Thing In The World Today segment of THE RACHEL MADDOW was, well, one of the coolest things on TV this week.
Person Who Put Us In The Oddest Position This Week: JERSEY SHORE’s JWoww slammed Bristol Palin’s anti gay-marriage remarks by suggesting she “keep her uneducated, ignorant mouth shut.” Is it possible to love the message and kinda despise the messenger?
Most Highly-Anticipated Vanishing Act: At last, Kate Gosselin seems poised to drop off the public’s radar. Apparently, the bad mom-turned-couponer couldn’t even muster up enough interest to sustain a cruise built around her celebrity.
Longest Commercial: The folks at USA announced that WWE’s RAW is expanding to three hours a week beginning with its 1,000th episode. Unspoken? That 90 minutes of each episode will be spent pimping the next pay-per-view event.
Best Accusation: The folks at Jezebel.com pondered the weighty topic of whether or not THE BACHELORETTE is racist… against interesting people.
Nakedest Trend: Talk about a big week for strippers! Even as the cast of Magic Mike hit the cover of Entertainment Weekly, TMZ reported that BLOSSOM alum Joey Lawrence would be doing a month-long gig with the Chippendales!
Least Teachable Moment: Rumor has it that the next cycle of AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL will be a “college edition.” Because nothing says “role model” like encouraging girls to skip class in favor of becoming a reality-show contestant.
Oddest Change: After being a relentless cheerleader for COUGAR TOWN, showrunner Bill Lawrence is apparently handing the show off to someone else as it faces its toughest challenge ever by switching from ABC to TBS.
Most Environmentally Sound: If recycling plots could save the ozone layer, GOSSIP GIRL would receive all kinds of awards. The season finale featured yet another Serena/Dan hook-up, a Blair/Chuck redux and the “unexpected” return of Georgina that may have been more shocking if her portrayer’s name hadn’t been shown in the guest cast at the beginning of the episode.