Welcome To Our World: Asked what it’s like to leave SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, Will Forte said, “It’s really hard to bring yourself to watch the show.” He had more to add, but for us, that’s how it’s felt for a while.
Tackiest Move: Donald Trump announced he was considering suing a Miss Universe contestant who stated she believed the contest to be rigged. In related news happening only in our head, President Obama announced he would sue Trump for slander, libel and, if all else fails, general buffoonery.
Oddest Choice: Who decided that George Lopez would be a good host for NBC’s weirdly-addictive “dating” show, TAKE ME OUT? They were wrong… although he does sort of add to the train wreck quality of the entire show.
Consider Yourself Warned: Although new-to-the-cast Christopher Meloni is all over the ads for the about-to-debut season of TRUE BLOOD, his vampy alter ego, Roman, doesn’t actually appear in the premiere.
Worst Liar: AMERICA’S GOT TALENT contestant Timothy Poe has told more fabricated facts and half truths than people who are actually paid to do so. You know, like politicians.
Their Own Worst Enemy: Every time CBS makes another move to block ABC’s BIG BROTHER-esque GLASS HOUSE, they give the show another round of free publicity.
Least Constructive Criticism: In Joan Rivers’ new book, she liberally bashes GLEE, claiming “all the homo kids are smiling and giggly”, completely ignoring the pain several characters have suffered. We do, however, have to give her this quote, singled out by The Village Voice columnist Michael Musto: “The only way Lea Michele is in high school is if she’s part of some bizarre religious cult and she’s come back to school with bombs strapped to her boobs.”
Twitter Tiff Of The Week: After singer Richard Marx tweeted that it probably “blows to be in the cast of a soap opera and be one of three people not stunningly great looking” — and GENERAL HOSPITAL star Bradford Anderson joking responded “thanks man, thanks” — sudser fans attacked Marx, wrongly believing he’d personally attacked Anderson. Wacky chaos ensued.
Best Audition For The Wrong Show: Circus performer David Matz blew us away with his SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE audition despite not being a fit for the competition. Our strongest hope? That Matz takes his cyr wheel over to AMERICA’S GOT TALENT.
Weirdest Marketing: THE WALKING DEAD onesie? Seriously? Um… okay…
Most Shocking Reasoning: Confronting charges of racism thanks to his continuing to push a birther agenda, Donald Trump pointed to Arsenio Hall winning CELEBRITY APPRENTICE as proof that he’s not. That’s right, he played the “some of my best friends are black” card. Stay classy!
The “It’s About Damn Time” Award Goes To…: THE KILLING, which, as it cruises toward its season finale (part one of two airs this Sunday night) is finally not only solving the Rosie Larson case but, um, getting interesting again.
Coolest Marketing: Want your own GAME OF THRONES throne? HBO will sell you one for $30,000. (If you’re still working on that Christmas list, you’ve found what we want!)
Saddest News: Erin Moran of HAPPY DAYS fame is reportedly broke and living in a trailer park. Come on, Chachi! How could you let this happen to Joanie?
The You Can’t Win For Losing Award Goes To…: The folks at THE BACHELOR who, fresh on the heels of racism charges, look to be making Roberto Martinez (aka former BACHELORETTE Ali Fedotowsky’s ex) their next hunk to seek love. On the one hand, he seems a perfect pick: handsome, charming, soulful. On the other, he’ll immediately be slammed as reality-TV’s version of an Affirmative Action pick.
News Only We May Be Wildly Excited About: Despite low ratings, THE L.A. COMPLEX will begin airing its second season on July 17. Hey, CW? We take back every mean thing we said about the last cycle of AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL.
Least Fitting Finale: After the epic-ness that was the Blackwater episode, GAME OF THRONES’ second-season ender felt like something of a letdown.
Easiest Decision: No doubt inspired by the stunning (and unexpected) ratings success of History’s HATFIELDS & McCOYS, NBC is thisclose to moving forward with a modern-day version. Because, you know, that’s an original twist on the tale.
Least Believable Statement: Aaron Sorkin tried to sell the notion that he doesn’t have a political agenda despite Forbes reporting that over the years, he’s donated nearly $150,000 to the Democratic party and anyone with eyes reporting that he’s consistently written some of the most liberal-leaning, right-bashing scenes to ever hit the airwaves. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…
Most Shameless Self-Promotion: Despite having not spoken to Sherri Shepherd about the offensive tweet she’d received (“Somebody should drag u in a back alley and rape you”) or the resulting controversy, Niecy Nash had no problem running to THE INSIDER to discuss the situation… and, not coincidentally, get a plug for her new series, THE SOUL MAN.
Why TV Critics Should Rule The World… Or At Least The Emmys: Shows that are consistently ignored come Emmy time received the lion’s share of the nominations from the Critics’ Choice Awards. (Go ahead, Emmys… nominate someone from FRINGE or HAPPY ENDINGS. Double-dare you!)