Irony Alert!: In one of the most unintentionally hilarious interviews ever, Mike Fleiss — creator and executive producer of THE BACHELOR — told Canada’s Calgary Herald that when it comes to reality TV, “most of the shows are fake.” He added that the moment when Jason Mesnick broke Melissa Rycroft’s heart by dumping her for runner-up Molly Malaney was “the stuff that really makes my life worth living.” Bet Melissa feels the exact same way. Stay classy!
Most Overdue Bump: We’ll be seeing (a lot more) Red next season now that ONCE UPON A TIME has made Meghan Ory’s Ruby (aka Little Red Riding Hood) a series regular.
Worst Trend: Following in the footsteps of BRAVO’s HOUSEWIVES franchise, TLC — which renewed the embarrassing mess MY BIG FAT AMERICAN GYPSY WEDDING — is talking about spinning the show off.
Silliest Controversy: To save money, the folks at GAME OF THRONES used a fake George Bush head (among many others) and, when they pointed it out on the DVD commentary, wound up having to apologize. Next time you’re wondering why a DVD commentary is boring, thank people who like to make mountains out of molehills.
Best Return: Nearly 7 million people caught the debut of DALLAS, proving that when it comes to Southfork, a whole lot of us wanted to go home again.
Most Likely To Change Our Mind: Honestly, news that Jerry O’Connell would be playing Herman Munster damn near killed our interest in MOCKINGBIRD LANE… until word came down that Portia de Rossi will be his Lily!
Duh: Can anyone be surprised that REVENGE’s Margarita Levieva’s will return as Amanda given that last season’s cliffhanger found her playing the ultimate spoiler to a Jack/Emily lovefest?
Biggest Buzzkill: Showtime announced that WEEDS will leave the joint after season eight.
Least Shocking Reveal: HGTV exec Brian Balthazar admitted that, in essence, HOUSE HUNTERS is about as real as a WWE match. But what’s actually shocking is how many people were surprised by this.
Best New Word: June Thomas of Slate.com dubbed FRANKLIN & BASH televisions “first great brocedural.”
Best Political News: Move over, Michelle Obama! ABC announced that Bellamy Young — aka SCANDAL’s bitchtastic first lady — will be a series regular next season.
Worst Political Move: It’s gonna be a lot harder for Sarah Palin to pull her “Gosh darn it, I’m just a country gal!” schtick once her daughter’s new show, LIFE’S A TRIPP — featuring Bristol and her son living in a huge mansion owned by friends of her infamous mom — debuts on Lifetime. Not that anybody will be watching.
Trend We’re Ready To End: What’s with all the tattoo-centered shows, including TLC’s upcoming AMERICA’S WORST TATTOOS? (Guess this time, we know what THE LEARNING CHANNEL’s teaching us: Don’t combine drinkin’ and inkin’!)
Cast Most In Need Of Trimming: Sorry, but TRUE BLOOD has turned into an overstuffed mess thanks to an overabundance of both characters and plotlines.
Proof That You’ve Reached Your Target Audience: GAME OF THRONES and THE BIG BANG THEORY, both beloved by tech-savvy geeks everywhere, were two of the most-pirated shows on television last season.
Oddest Casting News: TVLine reported that Alexandra Krosney, who plays Tim Allen’s eldest daughter on LAST MAN STANDING, will be recast next season. Because that will fix the painfully unfunny show.
Worst Anniversary Gift Ever: David Arquette Courtney Cox marked their 13th anniversary by filing for divorce.
Nastiest Export: Remember that FEAR FACTOR stunt so nasty, NBC actually refused to air it? You know, the one in which contestants downed donkey sperm? Well, it finally hit the airwaves in another country (and, as a result YouTube). Oh, Denmark. We’re sorry. What in the world could you have done to deserve that?
Coolest New “Ratings” System: An outfit called Bluefin Labs — which calls itself “the first social TV analytics product built for brands” — looks at, among other things, what impact shows and ads have on sites such as Facebook and Twitter. Look out, Nielsen. Your days may finally be numbered!
Most In Need Of Relocating: Deadline.com reported on plans to bring Gilligan’s Island: The Musical — now with 100 percent more alien! — to Broadway. If ever there was a show that screamed “off-Broadway”, this was it.
The “Of Course She Is” Award Goes To… : THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA’s NeNe Leakes, who plans to release a fashion line. Hopefully, she’ll learn a thing or two from the mistakes made by departing castmate Sheree, whose line has proven about as successful as the D.C. version of the reality franchise.