Least Likely To Succeed: Petulant pundit Glenn Beck announced that he was working with a rapper — “I can’t say who yet!” — on a conservative version of GLEE designed to fight back against that show’s “horrifying” messages. You know, like tolerance and anti-bullying. Need a title, Mr. Beck? Might we suggest FLEE, which is what we suspect viewers will do?
Most Satisfying Conclusion Most People Never Saw: The reveal of Rosie’s murderer proved well worth the wait… not that many folks stayed with THE KILLING long enough to get closure.
Reason The Biebs Need Not Fret: Sure, less than 3.5 million people tuned in to see Justin Bieber’s NBC special, but that’s nearly 3 million more than watched the premiere of Bristol Palin’s new reality show. Plus, he has way better hair than her.
The Last To Know: Charlie Sheen said in a Playboy interview that his whole “winning” period was actually a “psychotic break”, prompting the rest of the known universe to respond, in unison, “Duh.”
Weirdest Interview: Asked by TODAY’s Ann Curry about how he became a vegan, Mike Tyson — there to pimp his upcoming one-man show — incoherently babbled about venereal diseases and hookers, saying he got tired “of every time my prostitute girl got back from a trip, I had to sleep with her.” And speaking of Curry…
Classiest Act: Despite waking up to a front-page New York Daily News headline that screamed “ANN’S CANNED,” the scapegoat of NBC’s morning show mismanagement still showed up to work and went about her day as if nothing was happening.
Tackiest Tweet: Following a scuffle with a photographer, Alec Baldwin tweeted, “I suppose if the offending paparazzi was wearing a hoodie and I shot him, it would all blow over.” You know, some days, it must really suck to be 30 ROCK executive producer, headwriter and cast-wrangler Tina Fey.
Best Example: They say that the definition of crazy is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different outcome. Turns out Arsenio Hall is going to illustrate this by returning to a job he already failed in with a program in a genre he already failed in!
Most Pointless Litigation: Hey, CBS… how much did you spend in your failed effort to keep ABC from airing GLASS HOUSE, which bombed despite all that free publicity you gave them? How about spending that money on a new summer series so we have something to watch?
Worst Analogy: In discussing whether or not Jerry Sandusky — accused of molesting children — would testify in his own defense, attorney Joe Amendola compared the trial to ALL MY CHILDREN.