Least Welcoming Return: Aaron Sorkin’s return to the small screen was treated with such vitriol you’d think the guy was responsible for having created ACCORDING TO JIM.
Biggest — But Most Welcome — Adjustment: ABC announced that this September, GENERAL HOSPITAL would move to 2 p.m. in order to make room for Katie Couric’s new show. To most soap fans, this was great news… especially since the last two shows ABC made announcements about were ALL MY CHILDREN and ONE LIFE TO LIVE, which had been given the axe!
Best Reversal Of Fortune: Thanks to how miserably her exit from TODAY was handled, Ann Curry went from The Girl Least Likely To Be Missed to The Girl Most Likely To Get Our Sympathy Vote And Be Named Most Popular.
Wishful Thinking: Fox News broke the news that the Supreme Court had overturned President Obama’s Affordable Health Care Act… which was about as wrong as wrong can be seeing as the court had actually ruled in the administration’s favor.
Get Well Soon: “What is ‘The message millions of JEOPARDY fans sent to Alex Trebek upon hearing he’d suffered a heart attack?'”
Most Likely To Kill A Genre: Russell Brand’s self-indulgent talk show may finally convince network execs to stop putting a soap box beneath any celebrity who can form a sentence.
Best VIEW Ever: Rielle Hunter — aka the former mistress of John Edwards — was grilled relentlessly by Babs, Whoopi, Joy and company.
Most Ridiculous “Controversy”: BACHELORETTE Emily — you know, who is dating a dozen or so guys at the same time — was upset to find out that one of her suitors briefly went out with one of the show’s producers… in 2003.
Saddest Desperation Tactic: Us Weekly reported that former queen of all media Oprah has agreed to appear on KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS. Apparently, trying to save her network is worth selling not only her soul but her credibility.
Proof Positive that Money Can’t Buy You Love: NBC reported that SMASH is the No. 1 show among households that are highly educated and in those making over $100,000 a year.
Most Over-Hyped Guest Star: James Franco will be doing a stint on the Nick At Night novela HOLLYWOOD HEIGHTS. Here’s hoping his appearance there is more successful than his appearance on GENERAL HOSPITAL, which went from creepily cool to endless, annoying and, eventually, just plain creepy.
Best Example of Making Lemonade When Life Gives You Lemons: Landing on his feet following THE SECRET CIRCLE’s recent cancelation is Chris Zylka who took to Twitter to announce his newest gig on Ryan Murphys’ AMERICAN HORROR STORY.
Nice Work If You Can Get It/Best Parting Gift: On her second-to-last day of work, former TODAY show co-host Ann Curry was treated to a sayonara striptease courtesy of Magic Mike co-stars Joe Manganiello and Channing Tatum. 
Most Misleading Headline of the Week: HBO is coming to Hulu… in Japan.