Most Honest Answer: Unlike producers of TV shows who endlessly tease the possibility of movies that will never actually get made, BREAKING BAD creator Vince Gilligan admitted it was unlikely his ode to meth would ever wind up on the big screen.
News That’s More Awesome Than Most Of You Know: Deadline reported that BATTLESTAR GALACTICA developer/executive producer Ron Moore is turning Diana Gabaldon’s bestselling Outlander series into a TV series. So far, there are seven books (an eighth is due next year), each 700+ pages. Start reading, kids. Trust us.
Best Investment: Forbes magazine reports that MODERN FAMILY’s Sofia Vergara is TV’s highest-paid actress. Dios mio! Pero vale la pena!
Most Telling Shut-Out: Every Emmy nominee in the Outstanding Drama category was from a cable outlet. And not for nothing, but as networks have been killing their daytime soaps left and right, it’s worth noting that all of the Outstanding Drama nominees were serialized.
Silliest “News”: Rest easy, world. PARENTHOOD’s Erika Christensen reports that co-star Lauren Graham “has a plan” for joining Twitter. Sillier still, the moment Graham puts her “plan” into action, we’ll be ready to follow.
Easiest Joke: Jodie Sweetin — aka FULL HOUSE’s Stephanie Tanner — is suing over an accident in which her car was totaled. All together now: How rude!
Worst Rationalization: Mark Burnett’s ex, Dianne, is releasing a tell-all in which she claims to be the reason SURVIVOR was a success, claiming that she’s motivated by a desire for her children to know the truth. Apparently, discussing the matter in private never occurred to her.
Most In Need Of Updating: HELL’S KITCHEN Gordon Ramsay — recently named the highest-earning chef in the country — might wanna use some of that money to invest in a pop-culture primer. In last week’s episode, he referred to raw lobster as being “as pink inside as Paris Hilton’s lipstick.” Two thoughts: First, even Paris Hilton doesn’t refer to Paris Hilton anymore. And second… lipstick? Huh. That’s certainly not where we expected the notoriously foul-mouthed cook to go with that one.
Best Hand-That-Feeds-You Biting: Jon Stewart, the best commentator on modern media, took parent company Viacom to task over their decision to yank programs — including his THE DAILY SHOW — off the internet.
Most Misleading Title: We can’t be the only ones disappointed to find out that Jimmy Kimmel’s “Randy Report” is a daily update on Randy Jackson’s AMERICAN IDOL status and not a Today In Celebrity Sex Scandals segment.
Silliest Waste Of Time: Did we really need a “study” to tell us that the more time kids spend in front of the television, the fatter and weaker they are?
Biggest Letdown/Best Exit: Chris Meloni’s role on TRUE BLOOD turned out to be much ado about nothing — or at least very little — but his shocking exit at the hands of uber-vamp Russell Edgington was the best moment of a so-far tepid season.
Best Dirty Talker: Kristie Alley claims her upcoming tell-all, The Art Of Men will be sexier than bestselling mommy porn 50 Shades Of Grey… and we suspect she ain’t just whistlin’ Dixie!
Best Life Lesson: If there’s one thing we can all learn from Fred Willard’s arrest on lewd-conduct charges, it’s that porn is best enjoyed in the privacy of one’s own home.