Worst Excuse: NBC claimed it was not live-streaming the Olympic opening ceremonies because the event involved “complex entertainment spectacles that do not translate well online” and required “context” which “our award-winning production team will provide.” Instead, Matt Lauer and Meredith Vieira provided running commentary that was as embarrassing as it was intrusive and endless.
Silliest Move: CBS is insisting upon moving forward with its lawsuit against ABC’s GLASS HOUSE despite the show being pretty much a failure and the season being almost over. Legal costs, be damned!
Most Accurate Criticism: Time magazine’s TV critic, James Poniewozik, tweeted of the Olympics that “NBC tape delay coverage is like the airlines: its interest is in giving you the least satisfactory service you will still come back for.”
Why Your Favorite Nerds Will Be Depressed This Weekend: The only bright spots in MSNBC’s normally-scheduled weekend parade of LOCKDOWN episodes — UP WITH CHRIS HAYES and THE MELISSA HARRIS PERRY SHOW — will be sidelined again this weekend for Olympic coverage.
Best Thing To Happen To October Since Halloween: The CW announced that DR. HORRIBLE’S SING-A-LONG BLOG will air on October 9.
Least Self-Aware: Joey Lawrence, in explaining why he won’t be on the all-star season of DANCING WITH THE STARS, asked, “Why the hell would you do it again?”, adding that, “It was a lot of fun, but I don’t need to go back.” Because, you know, if he wants to dance, he’ll just revisit his dreams of being cast in Magic Mike by returning to the Chippendales stage.
Most Ridiculous Salary: We can’t pay our teacher’s a decent wage, and yet JERSEY SHORE’s Pauly D gets $40,000 to DJ a single gig? You know what? We deserve the Mad Maxian world we’re going to get.
And The Tacky Story Of The Week Goes To… : US Weekly, who made sure to fill us in on the fact that BACHELORETTE Emily slept with Arie in the fantasy suite before picking his rival as her true love. Now, we can all rest easy.
Closest To Being Overexposed: Move over, Snooki. Betty White is poised to become the person we roll our eyes every time we see now that, on top of being cast by everyone in everything, she’s also become the Tide pitchwoman.
Most In Need Of A Muzzle: Does BIG BROTHER’s Joe realize there are microphones in the diary room? If not, could someone please tell him so he’ll stop yelling at us every time he’s in there?
Proof Summer Has Become A Deadzone Entertainment Wise: The last two Entertainment Weekly covers have featured DOCTOR WHO (finally!) and a tribute to James Bond.
Worst Deception: Further proving that the Twitter hashtag #NBCFail is one of the most accurate ever, the network edited out a Russian gymnast’s fall — which basically guaranteed that the USA would win the gold metal — in order to create suspense about the outcome.
Least Spoilery Spoil: Producers at Bravo are ticked that former REAL HOUSEWIFE star Alex McCord has been talking about how some of what you see on the reality show is staged. This news came as a devastating blow to absolutely no one.