Best Line: Forget the Zingbot! BIG BROTHER’s Britney scored the best dis when she said of mop-topped Frank, “He wears his hair like that in public. Clearly, he has no shame.”
Weirdest Coincidence: Life proved to be, if not stranger than, certainly on par with fiction when a man named Walter White — just like the BREAKING BAD character — was wanted on meth charges.
Least Sucky Change: Only days after her TRUE BLOOD alter ego was spiked, Tina Majorino was revealed to be the newest GREY’S ANATOMY cast member.
Most Shocking Development, Daytime Division: Fans of THE BOLD & THE BEAUTIFUL were stunned to learn that original cast member Ronn Moss would be leaving the soap after 25 years. Even more shocking? That the show was looking to recast his iconic role of Ridge Forrester!
Fakest Surprise: Although ads made it seem as if Roseanne Barr was caught off guard by the appearance of ex-hubby Tom Arnold at her roast, the New York Post reported that he only appeared after getting assurances from the roastee that she would not make fun of him during the proceedings.
Silliest Conspiracy Theory: Kelsey Grammer theorizes that being a republican is the reason that he hasn’t received an Emmy nom for his work on BOSS. Could be. But just as likely is the fact that like his former alter ego FRASIER, he’s a pompous blowhard whose marital missteps are legendary in their epic failitude.
How Awesome Gets Awesomer: MAD MEN alum John Slattery is joining the cast of ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT.
Saddest News: Ron Palilo, best known as WELCOME BACK, KOTTER’s Horshack passed away. ‘Oooh! Ooooh! Mr. Palilo! This respectful shout-out is for you!”
Potential Game Changer: A whole lotta people are hoping rumors that Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte will be the next BACHELOR are true. But only, of course, if he spends the entire season in a Speedo.
Best Rumor: Internet sleuths say that Lisa Whelchel will be competing on this fall’s cycle of SURVIVOR. “Who?” you ask. “Blair. Friggin’. Warner. THAT’s who!” we respond. “Who’s that?” you ask. At which point, we write you off.
Least Shocking Development: Honey Boo Boo Child’s mom — whom THE SOUP’s Joel McHale described as “a talking thumb” — has a criminal record.
Why Your Writer Pal Is Depressed: Kyle Richards — you know, the chick on THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS with the hot hubby, gorgeous hair and messed-up sister — sold a sitcom pilot. Because, you know, life is totally fair like that.
Wisest Wife: “If I could talk to Joe,” said the BIG BROTHER houseguest’s spouse, “my advice would be to trust your gut… and stop yelling in the diary room!”