Least Shocking Reveal, Part 1: Us Weekly claims that Dianna Agron will only appear in a handful of GLEE episodes, which is no surprise to anyone who picked up on the fact she not only was mysteriously MIA from the show’s season four cast photo, but more worrisome still, was seamlessly replaced in this week’s premiere by doppelgänger Kitty.
Least Shocking Reveal, Part 2: New photos of the REVENGE cast feature a clearly-alive Victoria. Because we all really thought that the show was gonna off the best character on the canvas.
Most Surprising, Part 1: Britney Spears was actually kinda great as a judge on THE X-FACTOR.
Most Surprising, Part 2: After a surprisingly stellar season premiere, we’re totally back on the GLEE bandwagon.
Network Note We Wish We’d Given: As much as we’re rooting for the success of NBC’s THE NEW NORMAL, showrunners Ryan Murphy and Ali Adler’s subplot involving daughter Shania impersonating “Little Edie” from Grey Gardens doesn’t exactly scream broad appeal for a show that is already facing an uphill battle due to its [sadly] controversial subject matter.
Strange But True: In one episode, GO ON gave the adorable Allison Miller more to do than TERRA NOVA did over the course of its entire thirteen episode run.
Dumbest Move: BIG BROTHER’s Danielle actually allowed Dan to manipulate her into putting Shane on the block. Somehow, despite Dan’s history of screwing her over, Dani was then shocked — as the pics of her face which instantly became an Internet sensation prove — when Shane was voted out.
Dumbest Move, Part 2: NBC has only picked up PARENTHOOD for a fifteen episode fourth season. And yes, we’re still a bit teary eyed from Haddie’s airport exit.
If We Ran Hollywood: GLEE guest star Kate Hudson would already have a holding deal for her own series.
Renewal Of The Week: Despite not-so-hot ratings, Showtime greenlit a third season of EPISODES, also known as what was far and away the funniest show of the summer.
Biggest Bloodbath: As predicted, THE YOUNG & THE RESTLESS’ new executive producer, Jill Farren Phelps, came in with a swinging axe. As of Friday morning, Genie Francis (Genevieve), Marcy Rylan (Abby) and Debbi Morgan (Harmony) had been chopped, with rumors floating that more would soon follow.
Why We Won’t Be Watching THE BACHELOR: Reportedly, BACHELORETTE reject Sean Lowe will be the latest guy to make out with chicks in a hot tub and call it a search for “love.” Sorry, but at least with momentarily-considered Ryan Lochte we’d have gotten to laugh at his inability to form complete sentences.
“Who cares” non-news of the week: Kim Kardashian, who claims she is a “liberal Republican” doesn’t know who she’ll vote for.
Best Idea: JERSEY SHORE’s Deena Cortese was banned for two years from a Mexican restaurant. How about if we extend that to the entire cast and every location any of us ever have to be in?
Most In Need Of A Cattle Prod: Nicollette Sheridan made yet another attempt to have her DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES lawsuit revisited. Anyone wanna take bets on the odds she ever works again?
Strangest Blurring Of Reality And Fiction: Jerry “The King” Lawler had a heart attack during a live episode of MONDAY NIGHT RAW. Due to the show’s campy, soapy nature, many thought it was just another story point!
Lesson Networks Should Heed: SONS OF ANARCHY’s fifth season premiere garnered it’s highest-ever ratings, proving that, despite what the major networks believe, shows can find an audience if given time to.
Least Timely Musical Number: GLEE was jumped on the “Call Me Maybe” bandwagon about six months too late and with a version that brought absolutely nothing new to the table.