Most Unexpected Victory: We’re not sure which surprised us more… the fact that Carter won an immunity challenge on SURVIVOR or the discovery that Carter wasn’t the already-voted-off Dana.
Best Halloween Episode: Just when we thought we couldn’t love RAISING HOPE any more comes a delightful Halloween treat from what is far and away the funniest comedy you’re probably not watching.
Best Halloween Episode [Runner Up]: After getting off to a slow start earlier in the season, 666 PARK AVENUE brought it’s residents (and subplots) together for a fun-filled outing that proved this series to be the most underrated show of the season.
Proof That Someone (Occasionally) Listens: THE GOOD WIFE co-creator Robert King answered our prayers by revealing that the show would be dumping the awful Nick/Kalinda story due to viewer backlash.
Worst Timing: As the Eastern seaboard dealt with a devastating hurricane and its aftermath, AMERICAN HORROR STORY aired a harrowing episode called “Nor’easter” in which the titular asylum faced a nasty storm.
Missed Opportunity: Was anyone else hoping MODERN FAMILY would enlist THE MIDDLE’s Brad to play Alex’s “Boyfriend?”
Least Surprising Arrest: Anyone who watched THE REAL WORLD: ST. THOMAS greeted news of Brandon Swift’s altercation with police as practically inevitable.
Silliest Controversy: Apparently, it’s okay for news pundits to endlessly speculate about people voting for the presidential candidate they’d most like to have a beer with, but Lena Dunham appealing to young, female voters with wit and just a dash of sexual innuendo is demeaning to the sanctity of voting.
Most Likely To Become A LAW & ORDER Episode: A 10-year-old boy who killed his father said he didn’t think he’d be punished because a kid who’d committed the same offence on CRIMINAL MINDS hadn’t been.
Coolest Halloween Treat: British singer Kate Nash and her band performed the soundtrack of “Once More With Feeling” — aka BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER’s musical episode — live on stage. And didn’t even invite us!
Philosophy We Can Most Support: “Carrot cake,” said GO ON’s Ryan (Matthew Perry). “It’s practically a salad!”
Best Use Of Real-Life Nerds: Kal Penn is set to host a reality show titled THE BIG BRAIN THEORY in which engineers are pitted against one another in “extreme challenges.” Anybody else hoping for a death ray competition?
Least Scandalous Scandal: Given the raunchy nature of 2 BROKE GIRLS, it ain’t as if nude photos of star Kat Dennings surfacing is going to cause a Miley-in-a-sheet type reaction.
Best Endorsement: Mr. Burns — the rich, white guy from THE SIMPSONS — threw his support behind rich, white guy Mitt Romney… with a little help from the latter’s pup, Shamus.
The “At Last” Award Goes To…: NBC, which finally announced that COMMUNITY would return to the schedule on Thursday, February 7.
Biggest Shock, Daytime Edition: No sooner had GENERAL HOSPITAL fan favorite Steve Burton checked out as hitman Jason than that character’s brother, A.J., returned… despite supposedly being dead… and with the face of original portrayer Sean Kanan as opposed to that of last portrayer Billy Warlock.
Silliest Name Change: NBC’s upcoming mystery soap — formerly titled NOTORIOUS and then INFAMOUS — will now be known as DECEPTION. Because, you know, deciding which of those three ridiculously similar names to go with is the biggest problem on NBC’s agenda. Speaking of which…
Show That Refuses To Die: Despite bad ratings and numerous behind-the-scenes changes, UP ALL NIGHT is somehow still on NBC’s slate. Dang, their back-up slate must be really awful.
Why You Felt A Disturbance In The Force: Disney bought Lucasfilms for about $4 billion and immediately began talking about the potential Star Wars has for their programming slate. But in reality, how much worse can The House of Mouse do given what George Lucas allowed the later films to become?
Most Unexpected Moment Of Self-Actualization: Apparently having caught an episode of KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS, Bruce Jenner declared, “This started off as a family show. I don’t want to be involved in a show that talks about penises and sex and all that crap!”