Reason We Feel Old: Word is that in the BOY MEETS WORLD sequel, Cory and Topanga will have a 13-year-old daughter and a 14-year-old son.
This Week in Child Actors: Sarah Hyland is the Rodney Dangerfield of MODERN FAMILY in that she doesn’t get nearly enough respect for consistently knocking it out of the park.
Sad But True: It’s never a good sign when the only positive thing we can think of to say about this week’s HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER is that Jason Segel’s diet is paying dividends.
Most Stunning Death: Who could have predicted that THE WALKING DEAD would actually off Lori?
Most Overlooked Death: Oh, right. THE WALKING DEAD also killed T-Dog. (But honestly, didn’t you kind of expect that seeing as he had more lines in the first 30 minutes than he’d had all season?)
Drinking Game Alert! If there isn’t yet a drinking game every time REVOLUTION’s Miles yells “CHARLIE!” there certainly should be.
Best Deal: Netflix and AMC are in talks to bring THE KILLING back for a third season, which would reportedly air on the cable channel before then moving to the streaming service. Which is an awesome deal for Netflix since 95 percent of America don’t know where the hell AMC is on their dial.
Saddest Realization: Just imagine what Netflix could have saved had it been around when Fox canned the likes of FIREFLY, TERMINATOR: THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES, PROFIT, KITCHEN CONFIDENTIAL, ACTION etc.
Tackiest Arrival: MOB WIVES’ star Drita D’Avanzo’s showed up at a Hurricane Sandy volunteer relief effort with a camera crew.
From the Department of Shoulda Been There: If you missed PARTNERS on Monday you not only missed its strongest episode to date, but a super [man] cute shout out.
Best Road Trip: Hot air balloon trips, parasailing and swoon-worthy romance made us wish we could join THE BOLD & THE BEAUTIFUL’s Brooke, Bill, Liam and Steffy in Aspen.
Least Necessary Show: Come on, CBS. Does the world really need a third NCIS? Wait, I’ve got this one: No.
Most Unexpected Outcome: Roseanne Barr — yes, that Roseanne Barr — came in 5th place during the presidential election. Seriously.
Reason We Now Have To Get Starz: BATTLESTAR GALACTICA developer Ron Moore has signed on to adapt Diana Gabaldon’s bestselling series of Outlander novels for the cable outlet.
Saddest Election Night Conversation: Forget who won… the biggest loser appeared to be Diane Sawyer, whose loopy behavior had viewers wondering if she’d been doing a little bit of premature celebrating.
Best Timing: An unexpectedly early decision allowed THE DAILY SHOW to actually announce the winner during their live election night coverage.
Silliest Critique: Offended by a SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE sketch that featured faux sign language, Marlee Matlin called the piece “childish and insulting.” Which left us wondering… has she ever seen the show before?
Best Awakening: At long last, Lisa Whelchel (Blair, FACTS OF LIFE) got interesting, helping turn this week’s SURVIVOR into the best episode in what’s been a completely lackluster season.
Most Depressing Stat: DUCK DYNASTY is getting better ratings than AMERICAN HORROR STORY. You know, we get the television we deserve, people.
Prediction: There is a 99.732% chance that Anne Hathaway’s opening SNL monologue this weekend will involve a musical number. #MoveOverNateSilver.