Most Creative Bleeping: Instead of the usual techniques used to censor words deemed inappropriate by prudish networks, THE GOOD WIFE used car horns… and then had the presiding judge suggest that the bailiff close the window to prevent the traffic sounds from interfering with the proceedings!
Story We Just Don’t Wanna Hear Anything More About: The entire mess surrounding MODERN FAMILY’s Ariel Winter and her mom makes us terribly sad.
Best Double-Reveal: In the same episode, GENERAL HOSPITAL clued viewers in to the fact that the Jason-killing, Robin-kidnapping, Anna-wooing “Duke” was actually a mask-wearing Faison… who is holding the real Duke hostage!
Best Ripped-From-The-Headlines Story: Forget LAW & ORDER. It was THE GOOD WIFE that tapped into a topic we’ve all been talking about for years with this week’s episode focused on censorship, the FCC and “nipplegate.”
Most Popular Geeks: We couldn’t be happier that week after week, THE BIG BANG THEORY continues to grow ever-growing audiences. Finally, a show that we actually thinks deserves to be popular is!
Least Necessary Cast Addition: Sure, Rob Kazinsky (EASTENDERS) is smokin’ hot, but does TRUE BLOOD’s Sookie really need another love interest?
Coolest Episode: AMERICAN HORROR STORY took Sister Jude out of her frock, put Kit behind bars, greed Grace of her pesky uterus and revealed the truth about both Dr. Arden and Bloody Face… all in a single hour!
Most Controversial Love Scene, Daytime Division: DAYS OF OUR LIVES raised temperatures, eyebrows and, in some, ire by letting same-sex pair Sonny and Will have a steamy love scene… you know, like every other pair on soaps.
Best Use Of A Tired Cliché: Every show on the planet eventually does an episode in which the characters are followed by a documentary crew, but CASTLE actually managed to have more fun than most with the over-used plot device.
Least Surprising Casting: Liza Minelli will appear on SMASH. As if the showtune-loving guy in your life wasn’t already tuning in.
Most Awkward Announcement: When former CNN reporter Rob Marciano announced on ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT that he’d be joining that “distinguished and talented team,” you could actually see the light go out in his eyes as his soul left his body.
Best Recurring Character: Here’s hoping REVENGE’s Mason Treadwell — aka primetime’s version of Addison Dewitt (look it up, kids) — doesn’t remain behind bars too long.
Proof That Talent And Brains Aren’t Necessarily Related: The awesome Kristen Chenowith is rumored to be dating… ugh, we struggle to even say it… Jake THE BACHELOR Pavelka.
Most Talked-About Review: TV-chef Guy Fieri’s new Times Square restaurant was ripped up one side and down the other by the New York Times… which will not matter one wit to the tourists who will no doubt flock to it anyways.