Best Wedding: DAYS OF OUR LIVES reminded us just how much fun soaps can be when Gabi and Nick’s wedding day turned into a major melee thanks to the truth about her baby’s paternity.
Best Question We Didn’t Even Know We Wanted Answered: David Letterman asked Kim Kardashian why she and Kris Humphries are still legally married.
The Question Whose Answer We Already Knew: Where do AMERICAN IDOL winners go to die? Vegas, of course, which is why Taylor Hicks will be performing nightly at that city’s version of Paris.
The Last Thing We Need: Apparently, FX is considering splitting into two networks… one of which will air their comedies, the other, their dramas. Start juggling your viewing schedules now.
The TMI Award Goes To… : Kelly Ripa, who revealed she uses botox in her armpits to help avoid sweating. You know what we’ve found equally effective? Not exercising.
Most Bizarre Story: The saga of Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te’o and his non-existent girlfriend proves that sometimes, the truth (or what we know of it so far) is truly stranger than fiction.
Worst Backdrop: Somehow, VANDERPUMP RULES — aka the show that might actually make us miss THE HILLS — managed to make it appear that the entire West Hollywood gay pride parade consisted of nothing but the pink float sponsored by the restaurant Sur.
Tubes Most In Need Of Tying: TEEN MOM Jenelle Evans, who manages to make Lindsay Lohan look classy, “accidentally” forgot to take a few birth control pills and is expecting another baby.
Worst Historical Rewrite: THE CARRIE DIARIES opted to leave the World Trade Center towers out of the picture, literally, rather than upset viewers.
Reason #4,342,3456 That England Rocks: After two low-rated seasons, they canceled THE BACHELOR.