Coolest Casting: Ryan Murphy revealed that Kathy Bates has been cast in season three of AMERICAN HORROR STORY as a character “five times meaner than her Misery character!
Worst Trend: DOWNTON ABBEY’s duplicitous Ms. O’Brien (Siobhan Finneran) is following in Matthew Crawley (Dan Stevens) and Lady Sybil’s (Jessica Brown Findlay) footsteps by announcing her exit from the hit UK series.
Most Surprising News: The CW announced 90210 would end after this season. Oh, that wasn’t the shocker. For most of us, it was that this show is still on the air.
Smartest Move: With ratings down so far this season, TNT put the past six episodes of DALLAS on-line in the hope of getting people interested in (and caught up on) the drama before the highly-anticipated funeral of the late Larry Hagman’s alter ego, J.R. Ewing.
Why The Soap Fan In Your Life Celebrated This Week: ALL MY CHILDREN — the legendary soap ABC foolishly canceled — went back into production this week in preparation for a return (via Hulu) later this spring. ONE LIFE TO LIVE is expected to begin production in two weeks.
Most Mixed Message: Although Netflix’ president said there wouldn’t be a second season of ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT, a spokesperson kept hope alive by saying that decision wasn’t carved in stone.
Least Aware: SURVIVOR’s Shamar insisted he didn’t want to be labeled as the show’s “angry black guy,” yet his behavior pretty much assured that’s how he’ll be remembered.
Most Disappointed Would-a-Been Audience: Fans of DOCTOR WHO were unhappy to learn that The CW pilot BLINK wasn’t actually based on one of the sci-fi show’s coolest ever episodes but rather a completely different show about… well, does it really matter?
Best Return: It was announced that Ricky Gervais would bring David Brent (aka Britain’s version of THE OFFICE’s Michael Scott) back to help raise money during Comic Relief.
Most Inexplicable Phenomenon: DUCK DYNASTY scored A&E’s all-time highest ratings. No, seriously.
Least Surprising Departure: Emmy-award winner Julie Marie Berman announced via Soaps In Depth magazine that she’d be leaving her role as GENERAL HOSPITAL’s Lulu. The only real question? What primetime show will land the wildly-talented beauty.
Reason To Stay In On Friday Night: The CW is moving its ratings-deprived, wickedly cool chiller CULT to Friday nights.
Best Thing To Happen To Spies Since Bond: FX announced that they’d renewed ARCHER for a fifth season. As if that weren’t reason enough to enjoy a shaken-not-stirred martini, they also announced plans to submit the show in the Best Comedy Series Emmy category!
Coolest New Awards: Best Hangover Cure? Best Tantrum Tamer? Best PMS Drama? Oh, Netflix, just when we think we couldn’t love you more, you come up with the Flixies!