Most Shocking Plot Twist: Just when we had begun to bemoan the surprising lack of plot twists during this third season of GAME OF THRONES came a wedding to remember. One that gave new meaning to Cersei Lannister’s words, “When you play the game of thrones you win or you die. There is no middle ground.”

Coolest Fandom: The only thing more shocking than GAME OF THRONES “red wedding” was the job those fortunate enough to have already read the source material have done when it comes to keeping their traps shut. Seriously. Us non-book readers salute you!

Coolest Campaign: A Kickstarter campaign was launched — pun intended — with the goal of raising enough money to put a Tardis in space. Those asking what a Tardis is just lost major cool points in our eyes.

Worst Role Models: The women on PRETTY WICKED MOMS are so awful it could make you re-think that whole Mother’s Day thing.
Least Likely To Pick 3 As Her Lucky Number: Rumor has it that despite being renewed for a second season, Katie Couric’s ratings-challenged chatfest wont’ be around for a third. In related news, the taste-challenged Wendy Williams talk show has been renewed through 2017. Catfight!
Best Extra: The viewer tweets appearing on-screen during THE BACHELORETTE are sometimes better than the show they’re talking about and further proof that the show has become the most self-mocking program in recent memory.
Most Weirdly Compelling Trailer: By setting footage from ANNA NICOLE to a haunting version of the tune “Fame,” Lifetime definitely captured our attention. If the movie is half as compelling as the ad, they’ll have a hit on their hands.  
Most Entertaining Performance: Many GENERAL HOSPITAL fans may be up in arms about the return of serial killer Franco (whose twin, by the way, was a hit man!), but danged if Roger Howarth, stepping into the shoes of former portrayer James Franco (yes, that James Franco) isn’t having a heck of a good time in the role.
Day The World Is Most Likely To End: Mark your calendars for July 15th, kids, because that’s when Kris Jenner’s new chatfest debuts… unless the oft-promised, never-delivered Apocalypse makes the best-timed appearance ever.
Why Our Cable Bill’s About To Go Up: OUTLANDER — a series from BATTLESTAR GALACTICA rebooter Ron Moore and based on the epic novels of Diana Gabaldon — was just greenlit by Starz. Seriously… Starz. Couldn’t be HBO or Showtime or Cinemax, all of which we already have. Sigh.
Tackiest Move: THE BOLD & THE BEAUTIFUL’s Hope started sniffing around former beau Liam about five minutes after his wife suffered a miscarriage. Stay classy, babe!
Easiest Case To Settle: Susan Kasi is suing OWN for stealing the idea of a network devoted to therapeutic programming. All Oprah and company have to do is sit a jury down and make them watch endless hours of DATELINE ON OWN or POLICE WOMEN OF MARICOPA COUNTY to prove that the channel’s programming is about as “therapeutic” as a root canal.

Most Irony-Free Statement: THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY’s Theresa offered to switch the date of her daughter’s first communion so it wouldn’t conflict with that of her niece’s. Nice, right? Until, of course, she added that she was doing it to prove that she’s the bigger person that sister-in-law Melissa. Theresa, honey, as a general rule, people who do things to prove they’re the bigger person don’t announce that they’re doing things to prove that they’re the bigger person.

Network Most Likely To Be Learning Challenged: We already questioned ABC’s comprehension skills based on the difference between their DANCING WITH THE STARS casts and our understanding of the word “stars.” Now, we’re convinced that there’s a disconnect upon learning that Joan Rivers and Bristol Palin — neither of whom is currently married — will kick off the new season of WIFE SWAP.
Coolest Newsman Ever: Between his always hysterical appearances on THE DAILY SHOW and his recent attempt at rapping, Brian Williams raises the bar when it comes to making the “Voice of God” (as anchors have long been referred to) relatable.
Best Summer Escape: ABC’s MISTRESSES offers all the fun of a beach read without us having to, you know, read and stuff.
Most Abrupt End: THE BORGIAS’ creator claimed not to have enough material for a 10-episode fourth season, and Showtime rejected the idea of a 2-hour wrap-up movie. That means anyone wanting to know how things turn out will have to use their imagination… or a history book.

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