Best Emmy Bait: The folks at FAMILY GUY took out a wildly funny — if, as one might expect, inappropriate — ad in The Hollywood Reporter mocking GIRLS with Peter, Quagmire, Brian and Joe in dresses and the text (referencing one of the HBO comedy’s most talked-about moments) “Here’s a load of comedy to shoot on your chest.”
Coolest Card: You can now get a credit card with images from THE WALKING DEAD comics on it. Talk about having access to blood money!
Best Casting: Ginnifer Goodwin as Jacqueline Kennedy? Kudos, National Geographic. KILLING KENNEDY couldn’t have picked a more spot-on leading lady… well, unless they’d had Parker Posey channel her House Of Yes alter ego.
Oddest Promotion: To pimp the season premiere of HONEY BOO BOO (Oh, don’t even pretend you don’t know what that is!), TLC is distributing 10 million scratch and sniff cards.
Proof That Comic-Con Is Now Basically A Free-For-All: HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER’s cast will host a panel. Perhaps they mistakenly thought it was Comedy-Con?
Why Your Child Is Pouting: After four years, the Disney Channel has canceled GOOD LUCK CHARLIE. Guess his luck ran out…
News Story We Can’t Get Enough Of: If you haven’t been gobbling up the incredible story of Toronto Mayor Rob Ford, who may or may not have been caught on tape smoking crack with drug dealers, you’re missing out. And if Lifetime isn’t working on a move adaptation of this story, we’re gonna be majorly bummed.
Why We’re Feeling Old: We’re not sure which is worse… that BEVERLY HILLS 90210’s Ian Ziering is 49… or that he looks downright awesome in the stripper outfit he wore to make his Chippendales debut.
Least Satisfying Cliffhanger: Sorry, GAME OF THRONES, but a chick crowd surfing is kinda disappointing given the previous episode’s jaw-dropping “red wedding.” (Despite this, ratings were up significantly over last year’s finale)
Best Buzz: Despite many critics trashing the show and THE BACHELORETTE having a terribly weak season, positive word of mouth among viewers helped push ratings for guilty pleasure MISTRESSES up nearly 20 percent in its second outing.
Most Delusional: MTV’s Lauren Dolgen, creator of TEEN MOM and 16 & PREGNANT, says the shows don’t glamorize teen pregnancy and instead stir discussion and debate. And that’s true… if she considers one of her former starlets, Farrah Fath, going on Howard Stern and claiming her sex tape isn’t porn, as she did this week, “discussion.”
Sexiest Scene: ALL MY CHILDREN’s Petey gave a rather unconventional less in the history of computers as Colby… how to put this… serviced his hard drive?
Silliest Feud: Proving himself every bit as out of touch as you’ve always suspected, Donald Trump sampled an episode of MODERN FAMILY and called it “boring.” Not coincidentally, the human punch line has been engaged in a Twitter war with one of the show’s writers. Guess Trump has to drum up viewers for his increasingly ratings-challenged CELEBRITY APPRENTICE somehow.
Item Oprah Just Checked Off Her Bucket List: Thanks to a $12 million donation to the Smithsonian, the museum renamed its largest theater The Oprah Winfrey Theater.