Most Shameful Statement: Asked if MODERN FAMILY’s Cam and Mitchell might get married in the wake of this week’s supreme court decision, co-creator Christopher Lloyd told Entertainment Weekly that they “didn’t want to make a political statement.” Yes, God forbid a show that has helped show a gay couple in a loving — if almost completely asexual — relationship allow the characters to embrace this historic moment.
Biggest Hypocrites: In dropping scandal-plagued Paula Deen from their line-up, the folks at QVC said this wasn’t a “forever decision” and that people deserve second chances. In other words, they’re trying to figure out when the public will decide that their desire for butter-based recipes outweighs her being a racist.
Coolest Celebration: To mark THE PRICE IS RIGHT’s 30th anniversary, the show taped an all-Plinko episode this week. And if you don’t know what Plinko is, we can no longer be friends.
Best Crossover: THE O.C.’s Seth and GOSSIP GIRL’s Blair are dating? World’s colliding! World’s colliding!
Smartest Investment: CBS was making money off their summer series, UNDER THE DOME, before it even aired thanks to sales of foreign rights and other moves that just might help assure summer programming becomes a staple in the future.
Biggest Loss: At least for the moment, Twitter is without Alec Baldwin, one of its more… let’s go with “entertaining” personalities. After yet another obscenity strewn and homophobic slur-laden meltdown on the social media site, the actor — upset because a reporter accused his wife of having tweeted during James Gandolfini’s funeral — deleted his account.
Most Appropriate Hook-up: Just when we thought SMASH’s audience couldn’t possibly shrink any more, OVATION revealed they’ll air reruns of your showtune loving son’s favorite series.
Why Your Web-Unsavvy Grandma Is Happy: The first 40 episodes of the rebooted ALL MY CHILDREN and ONE LIFE TO LIVE – axed by ABC and then revived on the Internet — are going to air on OWN this summer. Now, you just have to teach grandma how to use the remote. And find OWN on her cable provider.
Best Entrance: THE BOLD & THE BEAUTIFUL introduced new hunk Wyatt by having Hope discover him naked in the woods.
Going, Going… : Contracts for the cast of HAPPY ENDINGS are about to expire. If someone doesn’t pick up this amazeballs sitcom, we’re gonna pile into Dave’s sandwich truck and find a lawyer to charge every network with gaycism. We’ll do it!
Least Real Reality Moment Of The Week: Melissa Gorga of THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY, after meeting with the publishers of her upcoming book, went on and on about wanting to keep the fact that her father was an adulterer private… while on camera.
Best Good News/Bad News Scenario: GENERAL HOSPITAL’s liquor-lovin’ Luke was thrilled to learn his recent health woes weren’t caused by his favorite libation. Unfortunately, it turned out he’d been poisoned by longtime nemesis Helena!
Oddest Proposal: VERONICA MARS herself — Kristen Bell — reached to the supreme court striking down the Defense Of Marriage Act being struck down by proposing to beau Dax Shepard. Did she not know she already had the right to do so?
Wish Most Likely To Go Un-granted: MTV announced that as part of their “REtroMTVBrunch”, they’ll air an “alternate ending” to THE HILLS. Please, please, please let it involve Spencer and Heidi being deported!