Not-So-Killer Ending: Five days following the series finale of DEXTER we remain at a loss for words. Well, except to say that America’s favorite serial killer deserved better. Way better.
Coolest Dude: Forget the new kids on the block. For our money, Clark Gregg’s Coulson is the best thing about the already pretty awesome AGENTS OF SHIELD.
Tackiest Plug: How better to top an episode of DR. PHIL dealing with statutory rape, teen drug abuse and parental abuse? Why by having former Backstreet Boy Nick Carter sing a song and promote his book, of course!
Best Wife Swap: Although the titular star of THE MICHAEL J. FOX SHOW is married in real life to co-star Tracy Pollan, she plays his neighbor on the semi-autobiographical series.
Earliest Celebration: Fox’s BOB’s BURGERS was renewed for a fifth season before season four’s premiere had even aired.
Slickest Action Scene: THE BLACKLIST’s kidnapping of a general’s daughter was edge-of-your-seat tense and worthy of a big-screen sequence.
Better Late Than Never: So why is CBS suddenly interested in BATTLE CREEK, a pilot they opted out of in 2002? Two words: BREAKING BAD. Turns out, CREEK is from Vince Gilligan, mastermind of the meth-fuelled hit.
Sexiest Renewal: Summer’s steamy soap MISTRESSES will be back next year.
Why People Should Listen To Us More Often: As our favorite GREY’S ANATOMY intern entered the hospital’s basement, we screamed, “Mousy! No!” She ignored us and, well, look what happened…
Best Charm Offensive: We should find THE BOLD & THE BEAUTIFUL’s Wyatt obnoxious, given his relentless pursuit of a woman who isn’t available. But Darin Brooks is so damn appealing in the role, he could make us forgive Wyatt just about anything.
Why We’re Annoyed With USA: They went and cast the always awesome Loretta Devine on SIRENS, a show we had absolutely no interest in… until now.
The Newest Cougar In Town: Given that GENERAL HOSPITAL’s Maura West has chemistry with everyone on the canvas, we shouldn’t have been surprised when her Ava hooked up with son-in-law Morgan for steamy scenes that defined “so wrong it’s right.”
Proof The Kids Are All Right: Those foul-mouthed tykes from SOUTH PARK returned for a 17th season with the best ratings the Comedy Central Show has received in four years.
Most Annoying Player: The next time SURVIVOR’s tribe speaks, what they need to say is, “Colton, get your whiny ass outta here.”
Quickest Turnaround: Given that MODERN FAMILY aired a grand total of 96 episodes in its first four season, the outlets running it in syndication twice a night will go through the entire batch every two months or so.
Best Treat: People.com posted the recipe for “Sumbitches” cookies, as enjoyed by Lily and the titular mother of HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER.
Worst News… For Us Personally: After six years, A&E has given HOARDERS the axe… meaning now, we’ll never get those folks to come and clean our house.
Coolest Title: Discovery’s documentary on the most famous daredevil of all time will be titled… wait for it… wait for it… TRUE EVEL. As in Knievel.